It's Not My Job
by Emom
Summary: Roy is injured on a call but the stations struggle to deal with a new Captain turns everything upside down. Can they learn to get along in time to save Roy's life? Will they learn the lesson of a lifetime and become a family?
1. Chapter 1

Not My Job

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I am finished to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek send them safely home._

CHAPTER 1

Johnny moved through the thick smoke, keeping an eye on his partner who was searching ahead of him. Originally they had been told that the abandoned warehouse was empty. It was Vince that said he had seen some kids playing in there the week before. That was enough information for the paramedics to be concerned and they donned their tanks and masks to go search.

"OK, go in but I want a quick search. Stay together. The fire might be under control but I don't think this building is gonna survive this time."

Hank continued to direct the other engines in response to the fire but he was not a happy Captain at this point. He paced in front of the building. Chet and Marco had now positioned themselves just outside the main doors with a hose. Engine 110 was working on venting the roof. The fire was pretty much under control but Hank knew this building was old and dilapidated, just waiting to fall in on itself. A death trap waiting to happen and two of his men were still in the middle of it.

Mike continued to monitor not only the gauges and lines but also his pacing Captain. He took in the relatively new tall dark haired man that had replaced Hammer. The whole shift was just getting to know him but Mike had a good feeling about this new Captain. Even his pacing spoke clearly about his concern for his men.

"HT to Squad 51."

Johnny stopped and removed his mask to reply on the squawking equipment, "Gage here Cap."

"Finish that floor; if you don't find anyone then I want you two out of there. This thing is gonna come down at anytime." Hank was firm and wanted to make sure he conveyed that to his men, especially the younger paramedic of the team. This team was as new to him as he was to them but he already knew enough about their dedication to a rescue and Gage's ability to get into trouble. They would stay until they found the kids, no matter what. But after this long and no sign of any children he didn't want to continue to jeopardize the men.

Johnny didn't like the report to leave without the kids but he also knew that tone of voice. He realized his Captain was responsible for their safety but it was against every fiber of Johnny's being to consider leaving someone behind, especially a child. For a brief moment he considered making a case for more time but hearing the creaking of the walls around him he knew Cap was right.

"10-4." Was his only reply. Cap said to finish the floor so at least they had a little more time. He looked ahead and suddenly realized that as he stopped Roy had kept going. "Roy?" He moved forward more quickly now into a wide open storage room that was filled with stacked up boxes. It was like negotiating an intricate maze with the boxes at least high enough to obscure his view everywhere. He could hear the water coming in the windows, the sounds of the sirens blasting outside but was starting to panic when he couldn't hear Roy anymore. Johnny felt the HT in his hand. It was a clear reminder that Roy didn't have one so there was no way he could make contact with him by radio. Johnny quickened his pace as the pounding in his chest intensified.

Roy moved forward through the room trying to search every corner for any evidence of kids playing. It wasn't unheard of for neighborhood kids to come into these old buildings to play since they were great for hide and seek. "FIRE DEPARTMENT!" He hollered through his mask as he hurried on. After weaving his way through the labyrinth of waterlogged cartons he shook his head deciding to himself that there was no one here. They had yet to find evidence of kids even being in here playing recently. He looked back to tell Johnny it was time to head out. "Johnny?" _He was right here behind me. Where did he go?_ Squish_. Great another pair of wet shoes for the day. _The water was flooding the floor and the boxes as it came in through the windows and roof. Then a sound came to Roy's ears that made him look straight up at the more than 10 foot stack beside him. Trying to move out from under the crashing saturated tower that was coming down on him Roy slid on the slick floor. As his feet came out from under him he landed with a painful grunt on top of his tank. It was immediately followed by the overly heavy boxes landing on his chest and body with a sickening thud.

"Johnny…." Roy rasped as he fell into the dark void of unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

It's Not My Job

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I am done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

_Thanks for the encouraging comments. This has been fun._

CHAPTER 2

Hank was ready. He was actually past ready for them to get out of the building now. Something in his gut told him that things were going to go sour soon and he didn't want them in there when it happened. The weight of his responsibility for this group of men was weighing heavily on his shoulders.

"HT to Gage. Get out of that building now." It was a strong urge that he had to yell but he remained calm and in control.

Johnny heard the radio calling him to leave right away but he continued to race through the maze desperately trying to find Roy. _Stay together. Cap told us to stay together. I really messed up this time partner. Cap's gonna have my head for this. God Roy where are you? _Rounding a right corner at high speed, Johnny went into a graceful slide heading, on the slick floor, straight into a stack of boxes. It was his saving grace that this one stack was small but being so wet they were not very forgiving to his shoulder as he crashed into them then to the floor.

Hank didn't know whether to be concerned or furious over the fact that he was getting no response from Gage. He glanced over at Mike who he realized was quietly watching him. _I know I'm new to the crew and they have a right to keep a close eye on me but damn it, I'm doing my best here. All I need is one hot headed young'un to screw it all up._

"HT to Squad 51, do you read me?" He called again, looking back to the building.

Johnny sat in a puddle of water pushing a box away as the HT went off again. _Not the way to make a good impression Gage. Cap already sounds ticked off at ya. _He picked up the radio.

"51 here Cap. I'm trying to find Roy then we will be out." Johnny cringed at the words, _find Roy. _

Hank looked at the HT then over at Mike again with a look of shock. "What do you mean FIND ROY?" The octaves of his voice were growing with every word. He started mumbling to himself…._knew they should have been out by now…..told um to stay together….apparently didn't listen to that…..what does find Roy mean?_

The words had already cut into Johnny more than his Captain could know. He was new to working with Johnny and Roy so their close bond of friendship had not truly shown itself to him. At least not yet. He took a deep breath and continued, "Cap we got separated and I can't find him. We're in the large warehouse room on the south side."

"Gage, I want you out of that building now."

"Cap, Roy has to be close to me. I need to find him."

Hank looked around, the fire was pretty much out and the engine crews were beginning to clean up at this point. Marco and Chet had moved over to the engine with Mike. "What's going on Mike?" Chet asked Mike as he worked on shutting down the water lines.

"Johnny and Roy are still in the building. Apparently they got separated and Johnny can't find Roy." As the words left Mikes lips they all turned to a rumbling behind them.

"Out of the building now Gage!"

The loud announcement came over the HT for everyone to hear, "It's coming down. EVERYONE OUT!" The rumbling grew in intensity until the entire front of the building came crashing down with a plume of dust and soot rising in a great cloud. Mike, Marco and Chet went running over to Hank as he spoke into the radio again.

"Gage. Are you alright?" It seemed like an eternity of silence as the group of men began to become restless.

"Yea, Cap. I'm ok. We are on the other end but we won't be able to get out the same way." The men listened as Johnny coughed where soot had spread through the old building.

"John stay right where you are. Don't move. We're coming in to get you two out." Hank moved away from the other men towards the Battalion Chief. "Chief my 2 paramedics are still in there and I need to get them out."

"Ok Hank. You'll have to enter from the south end. Make it as quick as possible before the rest of it decides to come down."

"That's where they were searching when the collapse happened. Gage say's he not hurt but apparently DeSoto is missing. We'll have to find him." The two men nodded at each other then Hank moved back to his crew. "Ok, grab ropes, the axe and the porta power and let's go get um out." Hank didn't like the feeling growing in his gut. _Damn that Gage, if he had just stayed with DeSoto like he was supposed to and left the building when I told um to we wouldn't have to be doing a rescue._ Then Hank shook himself out of it. He was not the kind of man to so quickly judge someone before really knowing them. Realizing that his frustration came from his deep worry about the wellbeing of his men he paused to take a deep breath.

The first sense that was overwhelming to him was the smell of wet paper. He reached up to push the wet cardboard box off his face only to be met with resistance. It was too heavy to move. He paused a moment to figure out what had happened trying to clear his head. _Boxes. Very wet boxes fell on me. Oww... my back. _Roy was lying on his side but knew he had landed on his tank. _Elephant. _He tried to move his legs but felt like he was in a steel cocoon. _Elephant sitting on me. Legs not broken. Arms ok. _He tasted salt in his mouth. _Blood from somewhere, did I bite my lip? _His arms were trapped in front of him. _God, those boxes must weight a thousand pounds. Hard to take a deep breath. Headache. Johnny, where are you partner?_

"10-4." Johnny replied. Standing up he regained his footing on the wet floor. He stretched out his left shoulder feeling the ache of the muscle strain creeping on him. Cap didn't know exactly where he was and he had no intention of sitting around waiting for them. _I'll find Roy then when they reach us they can get us both out. _"Roy?" Johnny called, over and over as he worked his way through the now many fallen boxes. They were incredibly heavy with water and he couldn't just gently push them out of the way. For a moment he panicked, w_hat if Roy is under all this stuff? He could be crushed._

The 51 crew moved towards the south side entrance and had to break into one of the back entry doors. They entered a complex maze of hallways with many doors which appeared to be offices. "Ok, Gage said they were in the large storage warehouse somewhere back here." He looked up as the building groaned. Mike, Marco and Chet moved a little faster, checking all the doors to see which one led to the warehouse.

Johnny continued to pull boxes left and right to work his way through the rubble. It was exhausting work because they were all so soaked and heavy. He rubbed his aching shoulder but knew that nothing could stop him. "ROY!" He continued to call for his friend and partner.

_Elephant. Elephants, Jenni likes elephants. At the zoo, she wanted to ride on one. _Roy chuckled to himself, _rather be on one than under one like this. Focus Roy. Never gonna get out of here at that rate. _"Johnny?"_ Great, like anyone can hear that. Can't take a deep breath to make enough noise. Noise. Now what kind of noise does an elephant make? …….Maybe he can call for help. _

Johnny heard something ahead of him and moved faster but it just wasn't fast enough for him. He didn't want to just jump and climb over the boxes knowing that Roy might be under some of them. Also he knew that if he hurried too much he could easily go right past him.

Behind Johnny his fellow A-shift crew had found the entry door to the warehouse. "Ok, let's get that jack over here and see if we can get this door opened up." Hank knew that time was running out. The building talked to him, telling him soon it would come down the rest of the way and it didn't care who was still inside its abandoned walls. His main worry was that time might be running out for DeSoto. They still had heard nothing from him. He debated about pulling out his HT to call Gage again then decided to wait until they entered the warehouse. He had told him to sit so he should be easy to find.

_Did he call for help? Wait who? God, I have to have a head injury. I'm lying here waiting for the elephant to call for help. I need you Junior. Too heavy feel like I'm being smashed flat. Breathe in, breathe out. In through the trunk, out through the mouth. Trunk? Who has a trunk? Oh yea, the elephant does. But that's ok, he's supposed too. Just gonna nap a little bit then I'll go get Jenni to help me move the big fat Dumbo sitting on my chest. _Roy smiled contently; at least he had a plan now.


	3. Chapter 3

It's Not My Job

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek send them home._

"_When friendship is understood to the depths of our souls then the giving of our life is no longer impossible."_

Chapter 3

Johnny stopped, focusing on the sound he knew perfectly well he had heard. It was soft but it had been there. Johnny's heartbeat quickened as he yelled, "Roy, yell if you hear me." He stood quietly and waited, listening for the call of help he needed to hear.

_I have to stay awake, have to wait for Johnny. Have to make him hear me, _"Johnny, please." _Can't ….breathe…_

There, he heard it again, faint but it was there. He reached for his HT, "Gage to engine 51." He needed help and the painful grip on his stomach told him he needed the help right now.

* * *

Hank, Marco, Mike and Chet had just opened the warehouse door when the radio startled them. "51"

"Cap, I think I've found Roy but need help getting to him."

"We're in the warehouse are you?" Hank asked, grateful that DeSoto had been found but a little annoyed that apparently Gage had not listened to his orders, again.

"Southeast corner, there's a large yellow sign above me."

"10-4." Hank and the others looked across the room but there was no yellow sign to be seen. The many stacks of boxes were blocking the view. "Let's move towards the southeast corner. Watch out, these boxes they are wet and they're ready to come down on us." The others nodded in agreement.

* * *

Johnny began working feverously moving the saturated cardboard. Layer after layer and still there was no sign of Roy. What if he was in the wrong spot? What if he was wasting time, precious time that Roy might not have? He kept digging and prayed that his fellow crew would find him fast.

* * *

Chet, Marco, Mike and Hank moved throughout the boxes, staying together, heading towards the correct corner. "There, a yellow sign Cap," Marco called out. They all moved at a steady jog now with their goal in site. They came around the last corner of the maze and found a large area of downed boxes. A virtual sea of soaked cardboard stretched before them with Johnny standing in the middle of it throwing chunks from one particular spot as fast as he could. Marco broke out into a run towards him but was sharply stopped by Johnny's shout, "Stop!"

Johnny looked like he was terrified and in reality he was, more than most would realize. "Marco, don't move," Johnny was holding his hands up. "I think Roy is right here somewhere, we need to step carefully."

Hank waved his hand, "Mike and Chet swing that way to Johnny's right. Mike, over here with me." The men moved to circle around Johnny and began moving the many layers that entrapped their friend.

_Johnny…can't….wait….much ….longer. Jo, will I ever see you again? Chris….Jenn….love you….so …much. _"Johnny." Roy cried out with the last of the air his lungs held. He had tried but couldn't stay awake any longer. The little space around his face no longer had any oxygen left for him to breathe in, his tank long since empty. His eyes closed in a silent peace and he could not hear the movement around him.

"Wait!" Johnny listened, "Did you hear that?"

"Where John, where do you think it came from?" Mike asked.

He closed his eyes and turned his head slowly, trying to recreate the sound in his mind. "Chet just to the left of you." He pointed and opened his eyes, "There." Without question the men converged on that spot and moved faster than before. Chet looked at Johnny. He hadn't heard anything; how did Johnny hear something from way over there? He was sure, no not just sure, but with absolute certainty. Hank had also taken in the unusual method that Johnny had used to pinpoint where Roy was. Well, where he _thought_ Roy was. With all the sound this building was making by now how could anyone hear a faint cry? But with nothing else to go on they continued to dig.

"Here! I see his foot!" It was Mike and his enthusiasm echoed through the room. Silently they all noted that Roy was exactly where Johnny said he would be. Hank called in a Code I and requested the squads medical boxes and a stokes to be brought to them. The work moved quicker when they all had one spot to concentrate on with both of Roy's legs being uncovered first. Johnny reached and pulled down his sock feeling for a pulse. He looked at Hank, "Slow and weak but here."

Piece by piece was removed and finally the downed paramedic was visible, lying on his side, motionless. Johnny was the one who removed the last piece of material off Roy to reveal his face. He was visibly shaken by Roy's appearance. His color was ashen with cyanosis shadowing his lips. Johnny felt for any breathing but found that his body was still. "He's not breathing." He spoke to no one in particular, maybe even just to himself. He and Mike worked quickly to get the tank off his back. Roy's mask was half on and half off where he had tried to remove it. They all realized that going down with his mask on was the only thing that had saved him but no one was exactly sure how long the tank had been empty. Mike began mouth to mouth rescue breathing while Johnny next felt again for a pulse. It was slow with a steady rise due to Mike's help.

"He was suffocating under here," Hank spoke in the quiet, thinking what a terrible way to go that would be.

Up behind them came the men from engine 110 with the stokes loaded up with the medic's supplies. Johnny reached for the resuscitator first and handed it to Mike. After Johnny adjusted the flow, Mike resumed the breaths with oxygen enriched air now reaching Roy's lungs. Chet started gathering IV supplies and Johnny set up the biophone followed by a blood pressure.

They were all relieved to see Roy beginning to swat at Mike as his own breathing returned. "Roy, can you hear me?" Johnny spoke softly to him.

"Roy." He called him with a little more forcefulness. Johnny needed him to come around a little bit more.

With that Roy worked at opening his eyes and did manage to give Johnny an affirmative head nod. He was just too worn out to do anything more right now. Johnny checked Roy's pupils, palpated for a head injury and looked for fluid in his ears. Next he ran his hands down his partner's arms and legs with great care but found no broken bones. With Roy on his back, Johnny opened up this turnout coat and palpated his ribs and abdomen with no tenderness noted. He sighed with relief to find Roy's exam almost normal.

Roy couldn't see everyone around him but he felt their presence, especially Johnny's. He desperately wanted to show them he was ok and tried to sit up.

"Easy Roy, we got ya. You're gonna be ok now," Mike spoke softly to his friend while he gently pushed his shoulders back down. Roy immediately settled back down into a quiet sleep as Mike switched his oxygen from the resuscitator to a nasal cannula.

"Rampart this is Squad 51, how do you read me?" Johnny began.

"Go ahead 51, we read you." It was the voice of Kelly Brackett. They had heard the Code I called from station 51 and were anxiously waiting for the squad to call in.

"Rampart, we have a fireman down, trapped under fallen boxes. He was found in respiratory arrest. Initial pulse of 60, now up to 110. Blood pressure 80/50, pupils are equal but sluggish. Patient was cyanotic upon finding him but color improved with oxygen. He is now breathing on his own, respirations are 28. There are no apparent injuries Rampart other than a small bump at the right temple. He seems to have been nearly suffocated from the confined space."

"10-4 51. Continue the oxygen at 10 liters. Begin an IV of LR TKO and transport."

"10-4 Rampart, oxygen at 10 liters, IV LR TKO. Also, be advised that the patient is Roy DeSoto."

Brackett swore to himself and looked over to see Dixie become several shades paler, "Understood Johnny. Get him in here fast."

Hank sat back and watched the men work on Roy with a sense of pride in them. He didn't really know all these men very well yet but he could already tell that this was a special team. Looking over at Johnny he let some anxiety play across his features thinking about what would have to happen when this settled down. The young paramedic might not like what Hank would have to say.

"Rampart. Pulse is 100, respirations are 24, BP is 110/70. Color has markedly improved also."

"10-4 51." Brackett took a deep breath and looked at Dixie, "He's gonna be fine Dix." She shook her head but she wouldn't be convinced until she saw him for herself.

Chet put on the EKG leads and hooked Roy up to the monitor. Marco worked at getting the stokes ready for transporting him. Johnny got the IV started without difficulty and the fluids running. Within a short amount of time they had Roy ready to move out. Covering him up with a blanket Johnny saw Roy looking at him.

"Heya there partner, bout time you decided to re-join us. How ya feeling?"

Roy looked at Johnny and smiled. The look made Johnny's heart flood with relief knowing that sparkle meant that Roy was ok. "Thanks for moving the elephant Junior," he said faintly.

Johnny furrowed his brow, "Uh, what elephant would that be Roy?"

"The elephant on…….remind me to tell you about it later," Roy chuckled at the memory while questioning if he should really share _all_ the memories.

With Mike, Marco and Hank on one side and Johnny and Chet on the other they raised the stokes and negotiated their way back to the door. As they moved through the final hallway they felt Hank pause and look along the walls.

"MOVE!" Hank yelled and started running with the stokes. The men didn't even question the sudden change in pace as they escaped out the door just as the building decided to crumble around them.

They loaded Roy into the ambulance and Chet pounded on the back of it. Hank turned to Marco, "Take the squad in and we'll be behind you." Turning to Mike, "Let's get this mess cleaned up so we can get to the hospital." Mike and Chet watched for a moment as the ambulance sped off.

"I think Johnny might be in deep on this one Mike." Chet shook his head.

"Hopefully Cap will see that Johnny was only try to help Roy." Mike had never questioned the uniquely close friendship that Roy and Johnny had. He had seen it at work many times before, how they could almost read each other's minds. "You know how Johnny is, he's not gonna sit by when he knows that Roy needs him."

Chet knew exactly what Mike meant, "I know Mike but he needs to be careful with a new Captain. He doesn't understand those two yet." They both looked to the new Captain over by the engine. Work was waiting and they were anxious to get to Rampart so they moved forward and got busy.

They had moved Roy into the ambulance still in the stokes. Johnny knew that if he let Roy up he wouldn't get him back on the stretcher. He was protesting the whole time. "Johnny, I'm fine now. Let me out of this contraption." He wasn't exactly pleased with the look of pure satisfaction on his partners face. Johnny sat back and enjoyed every minute of his confinement. Roy could protest all he wanted, he was at least alive.

"Now Roy, you know Brackett would have my head if I let you up. You have a concussion," Johnny smiled.

"Concussion? But I'm alert and oriented, I'm fine. I just needed air and I was fine."

"Oriented huh? Seems to me like I heard something about elephants back there."

There it was. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut. "It was just a metaphor for ….well… you know the weight on me." Roy got flustered over the explanation. Now he knew he could never let Johnny know about the thoughts that ran through his head.

"Ok, ok, calm down. You're gonna be just fine." Johnny chuckled, patting his patient on the shoulder as he looked into the face of exasperation lying before him.

* * *

Upon arrival to the ER Brackett had the whole trauma team ready for his possibly critical patient and instead had a grumpy, protesting and quite fully mobile patient wanting up. Brackett was a little more forgiving and told Johnny to get Roy out of the stokes and on the exam table.

"Doc, I told Johnny I was fine. Air, all I needed was some air." He waved his hands over his body, "See, nothings broken. I'm fine."

Johnny looked at him, "Me thinks he protests too much Doc."

Brackett couldn't decide right off hand if Roy was protesting too much or Johnny was just enjoying seeing someone else be the patient for a change.

"Ok, let me at least get the chance to do an exam before you think about darting out the door." Roy just sighed and conceded to the exam knowing that he wasn't gonna get out of it anyway.

Johnny just smiled as he excused himself from the room and wandered to the doctor's lounge with Dixie while he waited to hear about Roy. Pouring himself a cup of coffee he leaned back on the counter, head held down and let out a deep breath. Dixie came up beside him and saw the exhaustion in his eyes, "Close?"

He looked up at her, "Close." His eyes shared part of that horrible hour digging for Roy. "Dix he was buried. I didn't think we weren't gonna find him in time."

"But you did Johnny and that's all that matters." She looked at him with concern in her eyes for her worried friend, "Look's like he's gonna be fine."

"Yea." Johnny didn't want to go into what had happened with the new Captain. He knew he was going to have to return to the station eventually and face the Captain for his actions. How could he explain what happened? How could he make this new man understand that he did what he had to do. That he would give his life to save his best friend.

"So Roy, tell me what happened?" Bracket had reviewed the skull series and completed his exam.

"Not much doc. A stack of wet cardboard boxes fell on me. I tried to get out from under them but they were soaking wet and weighed too much for me to move them. I still had my mask partly on and was pretty ok until my tank ran out. Johnny got me out just in the nick of time."

"Nick of time huh? Sounds like you were almost past the nick of time. He said you were cyanotic and in respiratory arrest." Brackett knew that Roy's exam looked good now; his concern was the amount of time he was down.

"That's what I hear doc. But didn't he just have to give me a few breaths?" Roy still wasn't exactly clear on how long he had been out but he had just assumed it hadn't been too long. He never required an airway.

Kelly shook his head, "Yea, just a few breaths." Roy was one of his best paramedics and had become a good friend. He was worried that he was missing something here. "I'm not worried about the bump on your head; it's just a mild concussion at most. I still want to keep you overnight and watch you." Kelly saw the instant rebellion flare up in Roy's tensing muscles, which was unusual for him. Johnny of course, but not Roy.

"Admit me?" Roy's expression was more of concern than surprise.

"Roy, I'm not exactly sure what happened but you required resuscitation to come back. That's nothing to play around with."

"I know doc. But please don't admit me. I have this feeling…..I can't shake it."

"What's wrong Roy?" Kelly furrowed his eyebrows, growing concerned again.

"I don't know but I have a strong gut feeling I need to be at the station tonight. I can't explain it but I promise I will come back if anything happens ok? Just please let me go back with Johnny." Roy's eyes were darkened with a pensive worry that he couldn't release. He only hoped that Kelly would catch a glimpse of it too.

He saw it. It was something that would only be picked up by someone who knew the close bond that Johnny and Roy had. Kelly was worried about Roy but realized that if he felt a reason that strong to stay close to Johnny then maybe he shouldn't interfere.

Brackett entered the lounge shaking his head. Johnny stood up straight and began to worry thinking he may have missed something, "Doc?"

"Oh I think he's fine Johnny, just stubborn. He has a mild concussion, shouldn't cause him anything but a headache for the next 24hrs. I'm sure he'll be sore and bruised by tomorrow. He wouldn't have had any problems if he had more air space but I think you guys got to him just at the right time."

Johnny's shoulders relaxed with relief, "So does he go or stay?"

"I'd like him to stay but he's insisting he needs to go. I'm not exactly sure why he's so insistent but I will release him back to you. Just keep a close eye on him and send him back here if he develops any other symptoms ok?"

"Sure doc." Johnny wanted Roy to get admitted if the doc thought it was needed but he was very glad to hear that he was taking him home. Johnny really needed Roy with him when he faced Cap. Kelly moved back out to the nurse's station.

* * *

Thinking of Cap, Johnny looked up to see him with Marco, Mike and Chet enter the doctor's lounge.

"Gage, how's DeSoto doing?" Hank was genuinely concerned for his man.

"Doc says he has a mild concussion and beaten up some but he's releasing him back to work. Just wants me to keep a close eye on him." Johnny hoped that him needing to keep a close on his partner meant that Cap couldn't suspend him right away.

"Guess Roy's head is as hard as yours huh Johnny?" Chet threw in.

Johnny just glared back.

"Then we'll head back to the station. Don't put yourselves back in service until you have checked in with me," Hank said.

Johnny's stomach knotted in response, "Ok, Cap."

* * *

Roy slide off the exam table, stood up and groaned. His muscles were already beginning to protest the mistreatment they had received just a few hours before. He twisted slightly to reach for his turn out coat but gasped at the pain that shot through his right side with the movement. Instinctively he looked up to see if anyone had heard him. He hadn't lied to Brackett. _He didn't actually ask about my back. No big deal that I didn't tell um about landing on my tank. I'll come back tomorrow after shift and let doc look at it. Tonight I need to be at the station. _He knew he would be back soon, the pain was telling him that much. But for now he needed to stay with Johnny for a reason he couldn't get off the tip of his tongue.

Johnny and Dixie moved back into Roy's room to find that he had already put his shoes and coat back on. "Well, you're not wasting anytime are you pally?"

"Just ready to get back is all," Roy said as he headed towards the door.

"Ok, but the elephant has to ride in the back of the Squad," Johnny said very straight faced and left back out the door leaving Roy trying to avoid Dixie's obvious look of 'what?'


	4. Chapter 4

It's Not My Job

_These good fellow's don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and return them safely home._

"_True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." Charles Caleb Colton_

This chapter was much harder than I anticipated. I always think of my Carson fellows as happy, happy, happy. It was hard to make a serious confrontation between any them. But since it was a pivotal part of the story, here it goes. Thanks so much for all the positive feedback.

* * *

Chapter 4

The ride back to the station was quiet. Both men were exhausted from the ordeal of the day and just looked forward to some dinner, then hopefully some down time. Roy knew it was gonna be a long shift and he just wanted some aspirin and a hot shower first thing. Johnny on the other had dreaded every mile that took them closer to the station knowing that Cap would be waiting for him. As soon as Roy backed into the bay he climbed out of the cab. Johnny might have noticed the stiff pain filled movements had he not been lost in his own silent world of panic. Once out of the squad he leaned on the hood.

"Roy."

"Yea," Roy answered hoping this would be quick; his mind focused on relieving his own discomfort.

"I think I might be in trouble." Johnny looked up at him and immediately Roy saw the dread in his partner's eyes.

Roy moved towards the front of the truck, "Over what Johnny?"

But before he could answer they both turned to see Hank come out of his office, "Can I see you two in my office now." He turned back into the door without waiting for a reply. Roy watched Johnny step towards the door with his head hung low.

Roy entered the office first and stood by the desk knowing his body couldn't sit again so soon. Johnny moved towards one of the chairs. He knew this was something he wanted to hear sitting down.

"Have a seat fellows." Hank was writing on a piece of paper but turned back towards them. Gage sat down as his captain asked but he noticed that DeSoto remained standing, leaning against the wall.

"I'm good Cap, what's up?" Roy asked, a little apprehensive about what was going on.

Hank paused for just a moment as he looked at the men before him. It was apparent that both men were tired. Knowing what he had already been through today he didn't want to make this any harder than possible on DeSoto. It was his first encounter on a one to one basis with either of them so he couldn't be sure how they would react. DeSoto was the senior paramedic and just appeared to have a more mature and easy going nature about him. His concern was Gage. He was young, impulsive and almost childlike in his behavior around the station. However, he had not seen anything but professionalism at his job, both as a fireman and paramedic.

Hank leaned forward in the chair, "I need to talk to both of you about what happened today."

Johnny was ready to jump out of his skin with dread so he spoke first, "Cap it was all my fault. I'm the one that lost Roy in the warehouse." The guilt that Johnny had been holding close all this time was now tumbling out.

Roy was shocked, "Johnny, you didn't loose me. I kept walking and didn't look back to see if you were still there. It was my fault."

Shaking his head, "No Roy you almost died because I wasn't covering your back." He hung his head down, "I shouldn't have lost you. It's my fault."

Roy stepped in closer, "It's not the first time we've been separated during a rescue and it won't be the last." Roy could feel the guilty feelings radiate from his friend. "Johnny, the boxes coming down on me was just an accident. It wasn't your fault."

Hank sat back and watched the two men's interactions. It was like they had forgotten he was even there. He was trying to understand this pair. This was more than just 2 partners having a discussion. There seemed to be a bond that reached beyond work between them. He also noted that each man was ready to take the fault for what happened. "Wait a minute both of you. I need to know exactly what happened. Gage, why did you get separated from DeSoto to begin with?"

"He was right in front of me until you radioed me. I stopped to take my mask off, to answer you. By the time I was finished I realized that Roy wasn't there anymore."

Hank turned to Roy, "You didn't hear the radio go off?"

"No Cap, I was already entering the warehouse and the only thing I could hear was water and sirens."

Hank leaned back, "Ok, Gage, I gave you two direct orders which you disobeyed. What is your explanation for that?"

Roy looked at Johnny, surprised that he would ignore orders from the Captain, even if he was in trouble.

"Cap, you told me to get out but I knew I was too far from the exit at that point, wouldn't have made it. When you called I had fallen and dropped the radio. By the time you called again I'd found it and was able to answer you." Johnny was pushing his fear aside now and was beginning to feel a little annoyed. There were reasons that things happened like they did. He didn't just _disobey _like the Cap accused him.

Hank wasn't gonna let this drop with 2 of his men almost getting killed today, "I told you to sit and wait for us and you didn't do that either." This time his own voice reflected his frustration. He was going to make sure that this dark headed hothead knew who the Captain was at this station.

Johnny stood up, "I couldn't just sit there knowing that Roy was buried. I had to get up and try and find him."

Roy stepped forward seeing that this was quickly getting out of control between the two men. "Cap, if Johnny was already in the room then what was the harm in him searching? It's my understanding that he was able to figure out where I was." Roy stopped and looked directly at Hank, "_EXACTLY_ where I was."

Hank had not anticipated this senior paramedic coming to the defense of his younger partner so fervently. He remained sitting but was now on the edge of his seat realizing he was prepared to take this decision one step further if needed. "The harm is that this man didn't seem to be able to listen to anything I told him. For me that's a liability."

"Liability? I'm not a liability, I'm a rescue man!" Johnny was angry now, "My partner was missing and I wasn't gonna sit all comfortable like and wait for you to come hold my hand." This was Roy's life they were talking about. Who was this man to tell him he can't be there for him?

"Wait Johnny," Roy tried to step forward to calm his partner but Johnny was pushing his chair out of the way. One might even have said he pushed the chair at Cap. Roy moved sideways to avoid the chair but neither of the other men saw the flush of pain that crossed his face. Roy kept going, he was suddenly scared for his friend and the professional suicide he was about to commit. He put his hand on Johnny's arm while turning to Hank. He spoke quietly, "There was no evidence of children in the warehouse and I had already decided to bring us out as soon as I had found him. It was Johnny's job to find me. He only did his job and the only reason I'm standing here is because he's damn good at it."

Hank was standing now, "DeSoto, that's not the point here. I know you are rescue men but you are also under my command. I have to know that when I give an order it will be followed."

"I was right there! What's the difference in sitting on a box here or digging for a box here?" Johnny waved his hands across the small office. He was getting more furious at what was going on. "If I had waited until you arrived it would have delayed us finding Roy until," he faltered for a moment, "it would have been too late."

Hank mentally conceded that point, he knew that was very much a possibility. He also knew that Johnny was right about the fact that when he went looking for Roy he had not actually left the area. But before he could tell him Johnny was heading towards the door. He turned back, "So what now? If I'm such a liability then maybe I need to just find another job." He turned to Roy and saw the flash of panic across his blue eyes.

"Gage!" Hank barked.

"Johnny!" Roy called out as the door slammed with Johnny heading out into the bay.

"DeSoto you better get your partner under control or he will be looking for another job." Hank sat back down.

Roy had been disconcerted through all this but now he was mad, "Cap I know that you don't know us or how we work together yet but Johnny is one of the best rescue men and paramedics the department has. He's never had a discipline report or action against him. He has saved my life more than once and I plan on having him at my side for a long time to come. So if you move him out, you move me out too." With that being said Roy also headed to the door.

"DeSoto." Hank's voice had come down several octaves. He was upset but he was also a fair man and he wanted these men to see that.

Roy took a deep breath then turned around.

"I have no intention of loosing either one of you but I need to know that he can follow my orders whether he likes them or not. You know that all of our lives could depend on it one day."

Roy also softened his attitude, "I know Cap. Please let me talk to him before you do anything. He's a good man."

"I will," Hank said as he stood up and reached out for his hand to shake it. For the first time he felt that he had made a connection with one of his men. "Thanks Roy."

Roy moved out into the bay and started to look for Johnny. He knew his friend was upset and hurting and knowing Johnny he would want someone to rant too. Wandering around the squad he found him sitting on the back running board. He was leaning back, his long legs stretching out before him and crossed. Roy casually moved around in front of him, "You ok?"

Johnny looked up at Roy and for the first time since leaving the hospital took note of Roy's fatigued appearance. "Maybe I should ask you that question partner?" The anger was now gone as he focused his energy on his friend. His paramedic mode kicked in as he studied the man standing before him. _Tired looking but he has good reason for that. Hell, I'm tired too. Pain? Is he hiding pain?_

"I'm fine, just tired and becoming more sore by the minute." He looked towards the locker room. "I'm gonna grab some aspirin, be right back."

Johnny started to say something but Roy was already walking off. He started thinking again, his reprimand from Cap was still fresh but the anger had dissipated. It just wasn't in his nature to hold ill thoughts for long. Standing up he rubbed his own bruised shoulder. _Maybe I should go get some aspirin too. _Instead he went into the dayroom following the smell of dinner.

* * *

Roy looked into the mirror and sighed. He felt like crap. Turning on the sink he splashed some cold water on his face and rubbed his eyes. He was already tired but after the fiasco in the Cap's office he felt even more drained. _What am I gonna do with that partner of mine? _Then he smiled, _what would I do without him? Just have to last through the shift and make sure he doesn't do anything else stupid. Then I'll have Brackett take a look at me. _He took a paper towel and dried off then headed back out to find Johnny again.

Entering the dayroom Roy found Mike, Marco, Chet and Johnny sitting at the table fixing their plates. He grimaced as he immediately realized the conversation between Chet and Johnny wasn't going well.

"Look Johnny you just need to calm down," Chet said as he put some pulled off some garlic bread.

Johnny leaned back, "I was perfectly calm until you had to start." Roy knew that Johnny was upset because he was once again flailing his arms about.

"Start what? I just asked what you did wrong this time is all?" Chet knew that he was stirring the pot but didn't really care. He just loved getting a rise from his favorite pigeon, whatever the reason.

Roy pulled out a chair and sat at the table, but didn't reach for any food.

"Eat up Roy. It's been a long day." Marco said noting that Roy wasn't fixing a plate.

"Oh I will Marco, thanks." Roy continued to watch the battling twins.

Chet shook his fork at Johnny, "Johnny boy you're just jealous cause you know you wouldn't make Captain in a million years."

Johnny sat up, "Of course I could make Captain; that is when I'm good and ready for it. Let's see you take the paramedic exam Chet buddy. You couldn't get the band aide open. You'd just be at the bottom of the list like with the engineer exam." He sat back smiling smugly.

"Anyone can be an engineer but you'd fall apart over the Captain's chair."

"Hey!" Mike added with a mouthful of lasagna.

"Sorry Mike, you know what I mean," Chet said backtracking quickly.

Mike quickly swallowed, "No, what do you mean? I'd like to see you do my job for a day." Mike gave him a stern look.

Johnny laughed, "Chet wouldn't know where to find the water much less work the gauges!"

Marco and Mike laughed. Even Roy had to chuckle at that one.

Chet looked offended, "Now look at you Johnny boy, you're getting me in deep with Mike and all the trouble today was over you, not us." There was no way Chet wanted on the bad side of Mike.

Roy sat up and watched his partner. Johnny slid his chair back. "Go play on the interstate Chet. I didn't do anything wrong and you know it. Might want to hope I have that much interest in finding you one day when you need it."

Marco laughed and slapped Chet on the back, "Better listen to him Amigo, he's right. And we're all grateful for what ever it took to save Roy today."

"Well." Chet just finished his mouthful, now speechless.

As everyone finished up Marco again took note that Roy didn't eat. "Gonna clean this up Roy, grab something real quick if you want it."

"Nah Marco, I'm good." Roy sat back in the chair.

Marco looked over to Johnny with the _'can't you make him eat?' _look. "You feeling ok Roy?" Marco asked.

Johnny once again became concerned but not sure what it was specifically he was worried about. It was just a feeling that was brewing in his gut.

"Just tired and getting really sore. I'm fine. I'll grab some leftovers later." He smiled and tried to look relaxed even though the pain in his side was starting to make him feel queasy. He had to keep it together and not let Johnny see how uncomfortable he really was. Realizing that everyone's attention had now been drawn to him he scooted his chair back, "I'm gonna check the boxes." They all watched him get up with slow methodical movements that were not usual for him. Roy headed out the door and everyone then looked at Johnny.

"Is he ok?" Mike asked, concerned.

Johnny moved towards the door without answering Mike's question. He had a friend to check on.

* * *

Johnny came around to the side of the squad and found Roy bent down checking boxes.

"Ok, what's going on with you?" Johnny asked.

Roy looked up, "Told you I'm fine. Brackett said I'd be sore and I am. I'll go take a hot shower as soon as we have the boxes checked."

"Maybe I should take a set of vitals on ya to be sure." Johnny reached in the trauma box and pulled out the BP cuff and stethoscope.

Roy stood up. He couldn't let Johnny check vitals on him. He didn't think that right now they would be very stable with the way he felt. Unstable vital signs meant a trip to Rampart followed by being admitted. He couldn't leave yet. It was a deep feeling that was telling to stay. "Let me grab a shower, if I still feel bad then you can play paramedic on me, ok?" He tried to give Johnny his best charming smile possible.

Johnny hesitated.

"Gage, can I see you in my office. Alone." It was Hank again and he had made it clear that Roy wasn't invited this time. Roy lost his smile and got a more serious look with his young partner.

"Johnny, please keep calm. I think he's a fair man. He's just trying to do his job and get to know us at the same time. Don't assume the worst of him, ok?"

Johnny was distressed at having to return to the Captains office so soon and looked at the BP cuff in his hand. For a moment he was torn. He knew that Roy was his responsibility right now but didn't want to stir the already boiling pot with the Cap.

"I will. And don't think I've forgotten about vitals pally." He shot a crooked grin to his friend and sauntered back to the office.

_Great. _Thought Roy. Where would he find the energy to hide from his persistent partner all night?

* * *

Hank sat in his office and tried to finish up some paperwork but his mind kept returning to the paramedic team. He had seen the team work together and knew they were good at their job. Mulling over Gage's explanations he understood them but then would again get lost in the temper tantrum that the youngster had shown him. He knew that he needed to talk to him again. It was fine balance about being a Captain that Hank Stanley was still trying to learn himself. Asking for and expecting respect, balancing the individual needs of the man to the needs of the shift as a team.

Johnny entered the office for the second time in as many hours.

"Have a seat Gage," Hank spoke calmly and with control.

"Think I'll stand this time Cap, seems me and the chair didn't along too well last time." Johnny's demeanor was also much more relaxed.

Hank felt he should start, "I just wanted to say that I have full respect for your ability to be a rescue man, fireman and a paramedic. I have no doubts about your skills at this job." He paused and was pleased to see that Gage was remaining relaxed. "Being the Captain I am responsible for making sure we all do our jobs and ultimately that we all make it back home alive."

Johnny knew that he had made a big mistake the last time here and he wanted to make amends with his new superior. "Cap, I know and I'm sorry for getting upset before. I know it's my job to listen to you and carry out your orders. It's just that when it comes to Roy, well." He looked down at the floor, "Well, were like brothers Cap. He's the closest thing to family that I have. Him, Joanne and the kids, they took me in and I'm a part of their family. The thought of leaving him behind or loosing him." Johnny stopped, afraid to go on or he wouldn't be able to hold the tears back.

Hank leaned forward in his chair, "I will _never_ knowingly leave a man behind as long as I'm in command. That you can trust me on John."

Johnny looked up and saw before him a man of compassion and strength.

"I will Cap." Was all Johnny could say.

Hank leaned back again feeling that now was a good time to change the subject. "How's Roy doing? He looked pretty wiped out earlier."

"Well Brackett released him to work. He says he's pretty sore right now and was heading to the showers."

"Well let me know if he needs to be released to home. Hopefully we will have a quiet night."

"I'll keep an eye on him Cap."

* * *

Chet met Johnny in the bay, "Trying to get the Cap's job again there Johnny?"

"Oh go sit on a hose Chet!" Johnny said as he simply walked past him.

That wasn't going to slow Chet down, "Aww com'on Johnny you know you think that you can do everyone's job around here don't you."

Johnny whipped around, "Well apparently you think you can do Mike's job. But I guarantee I can do your job!" He turned at walked into the locker room in search of Roy.

* * *

Roy had to force himself out of the hot soothing shower knowing they could be called out at any moment. Drying off he pulled the towel behind him to dry his back and sharply took in his breath as the towel made contact. He was too sore to reach around to his back and try to feel for any damage so he went to look in the mirror. Even with the towel wrapped around his hips he could see the large bruised area at his right flank where he made contact with the air tank. He looked up, hearing Chet and Johnny in the bay, then hurried knowing Johnny would be looking for him. Dressing quickly was almost too much causing him to fight the wave of nausea that tried to reach his throat.

Johnny came into the room to find Roy putting his shoes on, "Ok, ready?" Johnny asked knowing that Roy was working hard to avoid him.

"Well, I said if I didn't feel better. I do feel better so you're out of luck partner." Roy quickly turned towards the door.

"Oh no you don't. You're not getting out of it that easily. I can tell you're hurting more than you're letting on." Johnny was hot on his trail as Roy continued to ignore him.

They came into the day room to find everyone sitting around the TV watching Adam 12. Hank had also joined the crew. Roy took some milk out of the refrigerator and poured himself a small glass. Finally making eye contact with Johnny he asked, "Want some Junior?"

Johnny just stared at him. _What is he trying so hard to avoid me finding out about? _He thought about telling Cap but decided that he had enough 'conversations' with the man for today.

Before he could voice his thoughts the sirens went off, "Squad 51, unknown rescue …………………

They climbed into the squad and headed to the rescue. Johnny didn't pursue the subject anymore for now. Maybe the victim would need a checking out at Rampart and he could get Roy checked at the same time.

* * *

The rescue had been nothing short of annoying for Johnny and completely exhausting for Roy as they had to chase down 2 small children to check them for swallowed marbles. Neither one was in any distress so they transported them to the ER for x-ray's with their mother riding along. Heading back to the station Roy was quiet and Johnny was uneasy.

"You're worrying me partner," Johnny said.

Roy kept his eyes on the road. "Don't know why."

"Don't know why? First you almost died today, then you haven't eaten all day and your avoiding a set of vital signs like the plague is chasing you down." Johnny crinkled his brow at him.

Roy just sighed. "Johnny calm down. I didn't die. I'm too sore to be hungry and right now you _are_ the plague chasing me down." Roy gave him a little smile and twinkle of baby blues to ease his worried mind. "I just want to go to bed. "

"Ok fine." He turned back to face the front of the cab. "Just trying to help is all." Shifting in his seat, "Brackett told me to keep an eye on ya but didn't say you'd be such a difficult patient."

"I'm not a patient Johnny and I know you're only concerned but I'm fine. I want to finish my shift then I have 2 days off to recover, ok?" _Just a little longer. I can make it through the rest of the night._

* * *

Roy rolled over and the burning urge hit his throat almost immediately. He pushed up on the bed and winced in pain. A brief glance at Johnny showed him sleeping, classic Gage style, with his arm over his eyes. Roy could tell he was sleeping by the steady rise and fall of his chest. He quickly darted to the bathroom trying to not disturb anyone along the way. Hugging the toilet he heaved until he saw stars and felt ready to collapse on the floor. Pulling himself up, he flushed and absently watched the red tinted material swirl and disappear. At the sink he looked at himself in the mirror. He was pale, diaphoretic and beyond bone tired with lack of sleep. He had done nothing but toss and turn so far with the growing pain that had spread from his side to his whole abdomen.

* * *

_BEEP….BEEP….BEEP…..BEEP….BEEP….BEEP_

Johnny reached over and slapped the alarm clock as hard as he could and finally hit the snooze button. He started to drift back to sleep but was greeted by the persistent mewing of his kitten demanding to be fed. He drug his self into the bathroom and grabbed a shower. Hopping out of the shower he suddenly realized he had moved too slowly this morning and he was at risk of being late. That would not do at all. As he pulled on his blue work shirt he took a soft cloth from his dresser and polished the Captains badge. Quickly he fed the loud feline and rushed off to Station 51.


	5. Chapter 5

_

* * *

_

It's Not My Job

_These good fellow's don't belong to me but I promise when I am done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

"_Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends." JJTK31_

Ok, this Chapter turned out longest of all. It was difficult to pick a stopping point as we have all watched Roy suffer for 4 chapters now. This isn't the end, so continue to hang in there with me and the fellows as we continue our little journey. And again, thanks so much for the reviews and support!

* * *

Chapter 5

Johnny drove to the station feeling a little anxious about this 24hr shift. He wasn't exactly sure why though. Pulling his Rover into the back parking lot he noted that he was the first one here. Chuckling to himself he seemed to remember a time when that wasn't always the case. He headed through the bay, seeing that both the engine and the squad was out and made his way to his office. Entering the office he approached the desk, opened the first drawer and dropped his keys in it. Looking around the office it was a very familiar place to him. The pictures on the wall, the books on the shelf and the clutter on the desk was like he had left it. Picking up the name plate he read it 'Captain John Gage'. He definitely liked the sound of that. He shook his head to remove the fog that his brain seemed to b e wrapped in today as he heard his crew coming into the station. The clutter on the desk was not fitting of a Captain so Johnny started cleaning up while he waited for roll call time.

* * *

Looking at his clock Johnny realized it was time for roll call so he moved into the bay with his clipboard in hand. The A-Shift crew was lined up and ready for morning inspection. As he passed by them he greeted them, "Morning men."

"Morning Cap." They each returned the greeting, standing straight and tall.

He looked down the line of his co-workers and friends. Looking at the roll on his clipboard he started reading the names.

"Lopez." Marco. Paramedic the board said.

"Stoker_." _Mike. Paramedic_. _

"Kelly." Engineer_. _He wasn't sure why but that one was funny.

"Stanley." Fireman.

"DeSoto." Fireman.

_I know these men but there's something I just can't put my finger on about today. _"Ok, we have 300 feet of hose to do. Mike and Hank you have that. Roy the bay and dayroom. Marco dorms and dinner. Chet latrine duty and trash. _Yes, now that one seemed right. _Dismissed."

Coffee sounded good so he headed into the dayroom with everyone else. Chet moved to the couch with Henry who laid his head in the man's lap. Marco and Mike finished their coffee and headed out to the Squad to do inventory and get ready for a supply run to Rampart. Hank and Roy stood over by the coffee and talked over what they planned to do on their day off. Johnny sat back and watched all of them, taking comfort in their presence. Being in the dayroom everything seemed fine, like normal.

"Hey Cap, is that your phone?" Chet's voice brought Johnny out of his reverie.

"What?" He asked.

"Your phone, it's ringing."

Johnny jumped up and ran to the office to grab the phone.

"Yes. Good morning Chief."

"Yes sir. I will get that to you as soon as possible." Johnny hung up the phone and reached for the daily report. _Now where would that have been put?_ He sat in the chair and started pulling open drawers. Nothing made any sense in this desk. Shouldn't he know where everything was in his own desk? _Lord, who arranged all this stuff?_ _Pencil, hooray I found a pencil. Now for the report, where would I have put that thing? _Johnny was quickly frustrated and ran his fingers through his dark wavy hair. _Why is this so confusing?_

* * *

Back in the bay Marco and Mike had pulled out all the boxes from the Squad. They both looked through them then looked at each other. "Seems all here," Mike said shrugging his shoulders.

"Seems? We have to know what to restock. We need to know what's missing." Marco was feeling a little off today and he didn't know why.

"Ok, let's start counting," Mike said feeling the same brain fog as his partner.

Chet made himself get off the couch and he moved out to the bay. Passing Mike and Marco he could hear them mumbling to themselves. Slowly he approached the large red engine feeling somewhat intimated. He moved over to the gauges and ran his fingers along the dials, tracing the silver edges and counted the numbers in his head. This was what he had wanted for a long time and now it was his. Why did he feel so unready?

* * *

Johnny finally found the report the Chief wanted. He read it and realized that it was something he should have known about. One of his men had been injured at a rescue. Reading the report he discovered that Roy had worked overtime the previous shift and was injured when something fell on him at a fire. It continued to say that he had been seen at Rampart and was released back to work. Johnny felt uneasy about this for some reason. He stepped out of his office into the dayroom, "Hank, Roy, can I see you in my office?"

"Sure Cap," They both replied and put down their coffee cups. Hank and Roy followed their Captain into the office.

Johnny sat down in the chair but had to catch himself from leaning to far back. He suddenly felt like he would land flat on his back in this thing. He looked up to see them come in. "I was reading an injury report made out last shift. Roy, you were injured at a fire yesterday?"

Johnny watched Roy and thought he looked uneasy about the conversation. "Yea Cap but I'm fine, they released me back to work."

"I see that. Says that Brackett wants us to keep an eye out on ya." Johnny shifted in his seat. "Let me know if you need a replacement called in, ok?"

"I will Cap, but I'm fine," Roy was trying to avoid the Cap's eyes, he didn't like the attention being drawn to him.

Johnny next turned to Hank, "Keep an eye on him and let me know if he needs a run to Rampart." He knew that Hank would be around Roy the most this shift and could watch him.

"Sure Cap. I can do that." Hank wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to see that a doctor would have missed but he would try.

"Ok fellows, you can go." Johnny needed some more coffee or something to settle his uneasy stomach.

* * *

Johnny wandered out into the bay behind Hank and found Mike and Marco arguing over the supplies. "Problem fellows?"

They both looked up like children caught with a proverbial hand in the cookie jar. "Nothing Cap." Marco stuttered.

"Anything I can help you with?" Johnny tried to sound casual but for some reason he was very disconcerted with the state of the jumbled boxes scattered on the floor in front of him.

"No, thanks though Cap, we got it." Mike tried to sound in full control of the situation.

Johnny wandered off heading towards the dayroom this time.

"Should have told him Mike," Marco chided his partner.

"I'm not telling him you lost the keys, you tell him," Mike whispered.

"It wasn't me that lost um."

"Well, it doesn't matter now does it?" Mike scoffed.

"Mike, we need the keys. Don't you think he will realize when we get called out?"

Mike stood up, "Let's get the boxes cleaned up and maybe we'll find them."

* * *

Roy had the dayroom duty and began picking up items off the floor in preparation of mopping. Bending over he groaned with pain as his sore muscles protested the strain. There was no one around to hear him as Hank was outside hanging hose with Chet.

The alarms sounded as Johnny entered the kitchen.

"Station 51, traffic accident………………….."

Marco and Mike ran to the squad driver's door and about ran into each other. Mike looked at Marco and dangled a set of keys in his face, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Hey, where did you find those?" Marco was disappointed. He always wanted to drive the Squad.

Mike gave an evil little laugh, "In the OB box, next to the umbilical cord clamps." He couldn't wait to drive. _I'm sure it's my job to drive, _he thought_. _Marco moved around to the passenger side grumbling all the way.

Johnny jogged to the radio and almost ran right smack into Hank, "Problem Stanley?"

Hank looked momentarily confused, "Uh, no Cap, sorry." Hank kept moving and climbed in the jump seat opposite of Roy.

Johnny wrote down the address information and handed it over to Mike then went to climb into the passenger seat of the engine.

Chet grabbed his turn out coat and jumped into the seat and almost sat on Roy.

Roy winced with pain as Chet pushed against him, "What are you doing? Get in your own seat." He manually pushed Chet off the truck.

Hank just laughed, "Twit." Watching Chet run around the truck he missed Roy's response.

Chet moved to the only seat left for him, the driver's seat. Climbing in he grabbed the large steering wheel and smiled like a kid with a triple scoop ice cream cone with sprinkles on top.

Marco and Mike sat in the squad. Marco looked at him, "Well, Go!"

Mike pulled out of the station first and took the lead on the way to the scene. Marco watched him fidgeting his legs and body all around in the seat. "What's wrong with you?"

"Don't know this just feels weird," he complained. He felt out of place and there wasn't enough room for his legs. "I feel claustrophobic."

_Great, _Marco thought.

* * *

Chet was nervous and drove safely. Very, very safely as the little squad pulled ahead and left them in the dust.

Johnny looked over at Chet, "Think we can pick up the pace a little here Chet?" Johnny was pushing an imaginary gas pedal on his side trying to help Chet out.

Chet pushed on the gas a little bit more but Johnny's groan of disapproval told him he still wasn't going fast enough. Hank watched from behind as the scenery went by like molasses and wondered what was going on. Turning in his seat he glanced past Roy, who was stoic and seemed to not notice then looked at Chet. "Good lord, Kelly, DRIVE!" He bellowed. The sudden voice from behind startled him and his foot hit the gas making the engine lurch. Everyone reached for something to grab a hold of. Johnny just looked at Hank, thankful for the assistance. Hank turned around and just shook his head, "twit".

Roy held his breath and his stomach until the pain in his abdomen eased up. No one noticed.

* * *

Upon arriving at the traffic accident Johnny got a quick report from the on scene police officer and determined that the injuries were minor. "Stanley and DeSoto pull an inch and a half and unplug those battery cables. Stoker and Lopez, check on the drivers, an ambulance has already been dispatched."

Chet moved from the driver's seat and stood before the gauges, so many of them. He reached up and began working while holding his breath until the necessary water flowed through the hose. _Deep breath Kelly, you can do this._ He looked over to Mike working with a victim like somehow he could call on him for help if needed.

Marco moved to the small blue car which seemed to have rear ended the red pickup truck at the red light. He looked inside to find a woman in her 30's shaking her finger at the said truck in front of her. "That man's crazy up there, he stopped, he started, and then he stopped again. How was I supposed to know what he would do next?" She cried.

Marco did a quick visual assessment and determined that she seemed ok but did note a laceration on her arm. "It's alright Mame, we'll get you out of here and fixed up ok?"

"Just get me out of here. I'm fine."

Marco pulled on the door and was able to get it open. "Do you hurt anywhere Mame? Your neck or back? Is anything broken?" She nodded negative to all his questions and he helped to move her out of the car and over to the curb. Mike was already over there with the driver of the truck.

"What'cha got Mike?" Marco asked as he set up the biophone.

"No injuries Marco. Vitals are normal and he just wants to follow up with his doctor." Mike answered.

"Ok, think were ok here too, just a cut on the arm. Can you help me here with her?" Marco was reaching into the trauma box and was digging around trying to find the bandages. Mike reached over and was also looking.

Having the battery's disconnected and the small engine fires out Hank and Roy put the hoses down. Roy was walking past the accident victims on the sidewalk and heard Marco asking Mike for help. Without pausing Roy reached into the box and grabbed the roll of tape, wound cleaner and gauze. Dropping it into Mike's hands he kept on walking.

"How did he….." He didn't finish the sentence because Marco was taking the supplies out of his hand to use. Opening the cleanser he pushed on the bottle too hard and a stream of it went across his hand and right onto Mike's shirt. "MARCO! Watch what your doing." Mike began trying to brush the liquid off him only managing to smear it everywhere.

Marco tried again, cleaned the wound and put on the bandage. Johnny walked up behind them and would have laughed if not for the victims looking at him. Mike was covered in something, Marco had about 10 pieces of tape on his arm and the poor victim had a crooked bandage that barely covered the cut. He didn't even point any of it out to the poor paramedics but simply continued walking. Looking around the scene he notified LA they were almost done and watched as Hank, Chet and Roy pulled up the hose. He especially watched Roy. The man was quietly going about his job but the expression on his face told of his discomfort. Johnny reminded himself to check on DeSoto when they returned to the station.

* * *

Johnny felt like a caged animal. Every run apparently meant a stack of paperwork for him. Luckily their runs today had been minor but he was concerned that this was not a well oiled team. He wasn't exactly sure what it was but everyone seemed disjointed with each other and unsure of their jobs. Just out of sorts and well, out of place but he couldn't put his finger on it exactly. He leaned back in his chair and promptly forgot how far it went back. With a smack of wood on the floor Johnny found himself flat on his back with his feet in the air. He looked up to see Hank towering over him.

"You ok Cap?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

"I'm fine, said I'm fine." He pushed the helping hands away as he stood up brushing his pants off. Looking at the chair like it tried to kill him, "I don't get that chair at all."

Hank pulled the chair back upright and rubbed the top of it, "Well, I don't know now Cap, looks pretty comfortable to me."

They both were drawn away by Chet's loud voice and went into the bay area.

* * *

"What is going on in here?" Johnny asked.

"Cap, can you tell Mike to polish his own vehicle. Every time I turn around he's over here polishing the engine!"

Johnny looked at Mike, "Stoker, you are aware that you are responsible for your own truck right?"

Mike slumped his shoulders down, "Yes cap." He trudged back over to the squad beside Marco and began rubbing little tiny circles with the polish, obviously not happy.

Johnny turned to Marco who was cleaning the Squad windshield, "What's for dinner Lopez?"

"I'm making beef stroganoff."

"Sounds good," he replied. But he couldn't help but think that chili sounded really good for tonight.

* * *

Roy worked on cleaning the nozzles, quietly and uninterrupted. No one noticed the change in his demeanor, how quiet he was today. He wasn't sure who would anyway.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon was quiet and the men gathered in the dayroom following lunch. Johnny could hear them laughing and having fun at something but he was still stuck in the office. It was hard to focus on what he was supposed to do because he longed to be out there with them.

* * *

"Hank, could you get me some coffee please?" Chet asked from the couch.

"What's wrong Chet suddenly unable to get your own coffee?" He reached to open the cabinet and was immediately slammed in the chest with a huge wad of grape jelly.

"KELLY, you twit!" Hank yelled in such an authoritative voice that Chet jumped up and started apologizing. He even helped Hank clean up the mess, offering to clean his shirt. Chet then decided he would rather clean the bathroom than stay here, _Geeze, think I need a different pigeon._

Mike and Marco were laughing but also got quiet quickly when Hank shot them a glare.

* * *

In the dorm Roy decided to lie down on his bunk. He felt weak and the pain in his stomach was making him nauseated. He could hear the men laughing in the dayroom and knew that Cap was in his office buried in paperwork. But somehow Roy knew that things were wrong. He felt alone. It didn't seem right to ask for Hank's help. He was a friend and co-worker but he wasn't very close to him. Instead he lay on his bunk and thought about his wife and children. Why did they seem so far away from him right now? Feeling a wave of nausea he moved into the bathroom as quickly as possible. Hank came into the bathroom as he was washing his face.

"Hey Roy, you ok?" Hank asked with concern.

"Yea, just trying to clean up for dinner." Roy intentionally perked up and smiled.

"Do you need me to get Cap?"

"No, I'm fine, just tired."

"Ok, see ya in there." Hank replied as Roy went back to the dorm room.

* * *

Hank passed through the bay and was startled by Mike who was standing by the engine with a rag in his hand, looking very guilty.

"Uh Mike, what'cha doing pally?" Hank asked with a half smile on his face.

"Nothing." He simply answered, trying to look casual.

"So… what's the rag for?"

"Just in case." Mike was getting restless. For whatever reason he felt like he had been caught by the boss.

Hank put his hands behind his back and walked around Mike, "Case of what?" He was enjoying watching Mike squirm.

"Fine! I was cleaning the Squad." Mike had to step towards the squad to wipe it.

"Squad huh?" Mike didn't look at Hank this time. "Well keep up the good work."

Hank walked into the day room with a big smile on his face leaving Mike to use the rag to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

* * *

Following dinner the men remained around the table. Everyone was sitting in quiet contemplation. Chet spoke up first and broke the silent thoughts that they were all unknowingly sharing.

"Mike did you ever think of being an engineer?"

Mike looked up in surprise. "Why do you ask that?"

Shrugging Chet pressed on, "Just wondering, you know if we could do anything else at the station what would we like to do?" Looking at Mike again, "So?"

"I think I would, yea." Mike answered.

Chet continued, "Marco what about you? What would be your favorite job?"

Marco thought about it, "Guess I'd be perfectly happy being a hose jockey. I grew up wanting to be a fireman." Turning to Johnny, "What about you Cap? If you could do any other job, what would it be?"

Johnny knew what he wanted to do but it would be a demotion so it wouldn't happen, "Always wanted to be a rescue man, then maybe a paramedic."

Chet laughed, "Can you see Johnny as a paramedic?"

He was stopped cold by everyone looking at him like he had just spoken the words of ultimate wisdom.

Mike leaned back, "Yea, I can see Cap as a paramedic. Not sure why, but yea."

Johnny liked the thought, no more little tiny office, no more paperwork, no more answering directly to the chief? It sounded good to him. He tried to picture himself riding with Mike or Marco but shook his head. No guess that wasn't his calling; didn't seem right somehow.

Marco looked across the table, "What about you Hank?"

Hank leaned forward on the table, hands clasped as he thought for a moment, "I'd like more from the job. Something where I can offer more to the station." He looked at Johnny, "Think I might want your job Cap." Then he smiled.

Johnny chuckled, "If you'll do the paperwork then you can have it today Hank."

They all laughed.

Chet thought back to the prank he tried to play, "Well, he yells like a Captain anyways."

Mike spoke up, "What about Roy?" He looked around, "Where is Roy anyway?"

They were so lost in their own land of confusion and thoughts that no one had noticed the fireman had missed dinner; in fact they realized they hadn't seen him for a while.

"That's not like Roy to not join us for dinner." Marco said.

"I saw him in the bathroom earlier, said he was cleaning up for dinner," Hank remembered.

The hairs on the back of Johnny's neck went up and his stomach felt like a knot. He didn't know why but he had to find Roy. His intuition was telling him that something was wrong. Jumping up he pushed his chair back, "We have to find him." Everyone looked at him but for some reason felt the urgency he was exuding and stood up themselves.

"Mike, Marco go check the locker room. Chet check out back. Hank lets go check the dorm." Everyone moved out to their designated areas to find him.

* * *

Johnny and Hank ran into the dorm and on first glance saw nothing but as Johnny moved forward he saw feet. His heart jumped in his throat as he looked around the brick partition to find Roy collapsed on the floor between the bunks, unconscious. He quickly knelt down beside him.

"Roy? Can you hear me?" He got no response. Looking up at Hank, "I need the boxes."

Mike, Marco and Chet came up behind Hank. "I'll get um Cap," Marco replied and Mike followed him.

Johnny felt for a pulse, it was rapid and thready. Placing his hand on his abdomen, he could feel Roy's breathing.

"I'll go call it in," Hank said as he ran to the bay. Once there he took the radio, "LA Station 51. We have a Code I and need an ambulance dispatched. Also place us 10-8 to Rampart."

"10-4, 51. Ambulance dispatched."

Hank returned to the dorm to find they had slid Roy to the main corridor for more room to work on him. He reached for the biophone and set up the link. Mike and Marco worked on obtaining vital signs.

"BP is 60/40, pulse 140," Mike reported.

Johnny opened his shirt and found that his abdomen was rigid, from internal bleeding.

"God Roy, why didn't you tell us?" Johnny was anguished over this, they could all see it.

Chet put the oxygen on him but Roy began to open his eyes. Johnny leaned in close to him, "Roy?" But he remained quiet. "Don't worry partner, you're gonna be ok."

"Don't think ….this time….it's ok…..Junior."

_Junior?_ Roy had never called him that but for some reason it was comforting to him. He heard Hank's voice on the radio, "Station 51 to Rampart, do you read?"

It was Kelly's voice that came back, "We read you 51, go ahead." Johnny moved over to take the phone.

"Rampart we have a fireman down. He was injured yesterday in a fire. There is tenderness along the right back ribcage with bruising, abdominal tenderness with rigidity and distension. He is pale and diaphoretic. Pulse is 140, respirations are 20 and shallow. BP 60/40. Pupils are equal but sluggish. He is in and out of consciousness Rampart."

"51, is this Roy?" Kelly knew that he had seen Roy last evening and released him.

"10-4 Doc."

Kelly cursed under his breath, "51, start lateral IV's of LR. Run one wide open and the other at 100 drops per minute to start. Send me a strip."

The strip came across to the hospital station, "Sinus tachycardia 51. Transport him as soon as possible."

Johnny looked at Hank, "Can you check on the status of the ambulance?" Hank nodded and ran out to the bay again. Johnny turned his attention back to Mike and Marco. "Get those IV's started," he said as he started running the IV lines with fluids. The whole time he kept his eyes on the monitor and Roy.

* * *

Shortly Hank ran back and Johnny did not like the look on his face, "What's wrong?"

"We have a problem Cap, the ambulance was in an accident. They have dispatched another one but it will take 20 minutes to get here."

"What!" Johnny looked at Roy; he could see him fading before his eyes. "We don't have 20 minutes." He picked up the biophone, "Rampart?"

"Go ahead 51." Kelly was hoping they were already on the way by now.

"Doc, we have a problem. There's not an ambulance available for 20 minutes. Roy's BP is down to 50 palpable, pulse is now 70 and he's unresponsive. I need to bring him in on the engine."

"10-4, 51, just get him here fast."

Mike heard the interaction and jumped up. He ran to the bay doors and opened them then jumped into the engine to start it. Hank moved back to the station radio, "LA Station 51 we are transporting our Code I on the Engine, be advised."

"10-4 51."

* * *

Marco started gathering up the boxes and equipment as Chet brought in the stokes. Johnny, Chet, Hank and Marco picked up Roy's limp body and secured him in the transporter then picking it up moved out into the bay. Mike already had the lights and sirens running and was sitting behind the wheel ready to go. Once they had Roy on top of the hoses, Marco handed the boxes and equipment up then jumped into the squad to follow them. Chet climbed up with Johnny and Hank ran and jumped in the passenger seat next to Mike. Looking back Hank could see Johnny wave, "Let's get moving Mike."

Mike pulled the engine out without any hesitation and deftly moved it down the street towards Rampart. Hank sat sideways and watched as Johnny did a cardiac thump on Roy's chest and Chet began compressions. Johnny was on the phone with Rampart, pushing medications, throwing boxes and looking like he was in shock himself.

From the squad Marco said an endless litany of prayers for Roy and then cringed as he could see Johnny insert the long needle into Roy's heart.

* * *

Mike expertly backed the large engine into the ER parking by the emergency doors. The orderlies met them and assisted with lowering the stokes down. Brackett watched as Johnny got down and climbed onto the stretcher to continue the chest compressions. Mike, Marco, Chet and Hank followed as they wheeled Roy into the treatment/surgery room only to be stopped by Dixie. In a daze they moved to the waiting room.

Hank paced, worried about his fellow worker. Mike and Marco talked quietly while Chet stood outside the treatment room door. Soon Johnny emerged from the room with tears in his eyes.

"Cap?" Chet asked.

"There doing surgery right now." Johnny felt lost somehow like the person he needed to talk to so bad was no longer there with him. He looked up at the crew in front of him and could see they were all worried about Roy. "It doesn't look good."

* * *

About an hour later Brackett and Early came out of the room. Johnny knew by the way they walked, hung their shoulders and avoided eye contact with him that it wasn't good news.

Brackett spoke first, "Johnny." He paused, "There was too much blood loss, and there just wasn't anything we could do."

Johnny felt like his world was falling in around him. "No." His voice was breathy, "Roy." Hank moved over and took Johnny by the arm and guided him to a chair.

"He must have been hurting all day. I can't believe he didn't tell anyone." Brackett said, feeling his own guilt over what had happened.

_Hurting all day? Roy, why didn't you tell us?_ "I want to see him." Johnny stood up.

Brackett didn't hesitate, "Of course." Of all the firemen standing in front of him it only seemed natural, for some reason, that Johnny was the one to be at Roy's side.

Johnny turned back to Hank, "Can you try and reach Joanne again?" Down deep he was glad Hank was there. There was something reassuring about his presence for all of them and he knew then how much they needed him.

"Sure Cap."

Johnny entered the room, littered with surgical supplies, opened packages, bloody towels and instruments. Roy was lying in the middle of it all. Roy. His friend. Yes, his friend. Johnny stood beside him and brushed the blond hair from his face. "We were all to busy to see. To lost in our confusion to know what was happening to you. Somehow I feel like I should have been there, the one to see your pain. But I was also lost. Lost in paperwork, phone calls and everyone else's confusion. None of this is right Roy. It's not right and it's not fair. It should have been me that watched out after you. I don't know why or how but it was my job to keep you safe. To make sure you went home at the end of every shift. What am I going to say to Joanne? Please forgive me partner."

Johnny laid his head on Roy's chest and cried. He hadn't been there for his friend when he needed him most and now he felt there was no reason to go on. Captain no longer meant anything to him. It never felt right anyway and now he suddenly realized why. He realized too late. And something deep in his soul told him he had lost the most important thing in the world to him. His friend. His brother.

He didn't hear the sound of the door opening or feel the arms of Dixie guide him to the floor as he collapsed in her arms.

* * *

Johnny tossed and turned in his bunk until he darted straight up, drenched in sweat. He gasped for air like a fish out of water, struggling to fill his lungs. His heart was pounding in his chest hard enough to cause real physical pain. His eyes went straight to Roy's empty bunk. The bed was nicely made; his boots and turn out gear were now gone. _God, what happened? Roy? Are you really gone or was it a horrible nightmare? Are you still here? Is it too late? _

His whole body was shaking as he swung his legs around to put on his boots and turn out pants. Grasping at the suspenders, pulling them over his shoulders, he moved towards the kitchen. As he passed each bunk he watched the other men tossing, muttering and fighting demons of their own in their sleep. Their faces glistening with sweat; their faces full of anguish. Johnny pushed open the kitchen door pausing to quickly look around the room. His heart sank when he found it empty. Wiping his arm across his forehead again the hairs on his neck stood up as he felt the surging panic build in his chest. Running through the bay he headed to the locker room.

As soon as he pushed open the door he saw him standing there looking in the mirror. He had his turn out clothes on, washing his face in the sink. Roy, through the mirror, saw Johnny's grand entrance into the bathroom and he got worried. Johnny looked terrible and scared to death. Almost as bad as he did.


	6. Chapter 6

It's Not My Job

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

"_What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." Aristotle._

* * *

Chapter 6

Johnny just stood and stared at Roy for a moment as he struggled to catch his breath. He hesitated, waiting for his heart to jump back into his chest. Then, suddenly he was afraid. Was he real? Taking a few cautious steps he moved closer to him, wanting to touch him. To make sure that this wasn't another cruel nightmare. His mind was overwhelmed at finding him here, alive.

He spoke in a whisper, "Roy?"

Roy had been washing his face off following his quick run to heave in the toilet. He was looking in the mirror trying to decide what to do about his injury when Johnny's abrupt entrance startled him. His first impression of his young friend was worrisome as Johnny looked terrified of something. He was looking at Roy like he had seen a ghost.

"Johnny, what's wrong?" Roy kept his hands on both sides of the sink to steady himself.

The sound of Roy's voice was overpowering but Johnny still just looked at him afraid to blink, that he might be gone again. As he looked at him the last few minutes were reeling through his brain. Roy was really there, he was real. He became pale as the nightmare engulfed him again. "Where?"

Roy was puzzled. Johnny was wound up tight and had never answered his question. "Where what Johnny?"

Taking in his best friend and partner Johnny teetered on the fine line of fear and anger at him. "Your hurt and I want to know where."

Roy was visibly taken aback by Johnny's abruptness. He had struggled so hard all day to keep Johnny from knowing so that he wouldn't worry. Now he somehow knew and was distraught. Roy let one hand off the sink, "Johnny."

"Where Roy."

Standing up straight from leaning on the sink he knew that he could no longer keep the pain from him. How he knew was a mystery to Roy but it was on the table now, no more secrets. "My back. I fell on my tank." Roy's eyes fell to the floor not wanting to see the anger from his friend at hiding it.

Roy _was_ hurt. With that admission of injury from him all of Johnny's fears and especially the dream were coming to reality full force. The panic was almost crushing to him. Taking one step back from Roy "Let me see it."

Roy didn't even think of protesting this time, he simply raised his shirt and showed Johnny the large dark contusion on his back wrapping around to his right side.

Johnny reached out and moved his finger along the bruise, "God Roy, why?"

Roy finished the sentence for him, "Why didn't I tell you sooner?"

Johnny nodded his head.

Roy shook his head. "I really thought it would just be a bad bruise." Then he realized he had to come clean with Johnny now. He shook his head again. "I don't know. I just knew I had to be here and not lying around in a hospital bed. It was…." He paused and looked back up.

This time Johnny finished the sentence, "Because of Cap. You stayed because of me facing Cap." Johnny was suddenly rocked with emotion that Roy disregarded his own pain just to be there with him to face the Captain. _Why would he do that? I'm not that important. _He watched Roy back up, leaning against the sink and now saw the depth of his friendship, his brotherhood in this older man's eyes. Suddenly Johnny truly understood and didn't know how to voice the thankfulness he felt for what his friend was willing to do for him. Never in his life was he that important to anyone.

Then Johnny really looked at Roy, moving past the 'he's alive' part, with a paramedic eye. "Does it hurt anywhere but at the bruise?"

"I'm sore from head to toe." Roy threw him a little smile. It was still hard to tell him how bad he really felt.

Johnny didn't believe him. Roy's pale color and quick shallow breaths spoke volumes to the trained eye. Eyes that were now paying very close attention to the patient. The bruise was significant and the location was concerning. Without asking he reached forward and depressed on Roy's abdomen. The immediate response of Roy's sharp intake of breath with pain actually startled Johnny as he reached out to catch Roy's shoulders for support.

"It's bad Roy." He looked up, "You're going to Rampart right now." Johnny turned and headed towards the door. His mind was reeling with the diagnosis of internal bleeding and the nightmare still fresh in his mind. He had been too late last time but this time he wasn't going to loose him.

Roy had wanted to wait until the shift was over. Now, with Johnny there he felt a sense of security and wasn't going to fight any of the young paramedics interventions. He knew it was time. But before Johnny could reach the door the alarms sounded.

"Station 51, child injured. 3042 Canyon boulevard…….."

Roy stepped forward, "Johnny wait."

He turned around sharply knowing what Roy was gonna try and pull. "Don't even think about it. Cap will call for another squad."

"Johnny. It's a hurt kid. We're the closest Squad. It will take another 20mins for someone else to get there."

Johnny's shoulders dropped. He knew Roy was right. But damn it, he was right too. Roy couldn't do this.

Roy could see that he was torn, "We have to go but you can take me straight to Rampart afterwards. I promise." He paused and looked serious, "Johnny, I know it's bad and honestly I don't think I can stay on my feet much longer. But the child comes first."

"Ok, Roy. But when I say no more then I mean no more." Johnny was as serious as Roy had ever seen him.

"You're the boss on this one Junior."

* * *

Hank stuck his head in the locker room, "Are you two coming or not?" He wasn't about to ask why they were both up at 3am but did catch the tension between the two men. Right now there was no time to discuss it. Hank made a mental noted to bring it up when they got back.

"Coming Cap. I'll grab your jacket Roy." Johnny headed back to the dorm as Roy followed Hank to the bay.

Coming around to the passenger side of the Squad Johnny was surprised to see Roy in it. He quickly moved around to the other side and jumped in, "So _this_ is what it takes for me to be allowed to drive." He shot Roy a crooked smile.

"Don't get used to it Junior, it's only temporary."

* * *

They pulled up to the entrance gate of a small animal park to find the security guard waiting on them. Johnny rolled down his window as the guard came up to them.

"Bunch of fool kids. They've been sneaking in at night and trying to trash the place, getting the animals all stirred up. Got one up the hill that bit off more than he could chew. Follow me." He jumped into his little cart and led the squad and engine up a hill towards the back of the property. The little cart parked and the older man approached them again. "This is as close as your gonna get those vehicles. From here we go on foot."

As all the men left the vehicles Johnny looked at Roy's pasty color. He knew there was no way he could carry equipment. "Cap, we're gonna go ahead. Can you load up the stokes with our stuff?"

"Ok, Gage. We'll be right behind you. Chet you go with them." Hank, Mike and Marco moved to the Squad to get the supplies gathered as the other three followed the security guard.

He led them through a large locked wooden gate then down a winding path that was almost overrun with bushes and low hanging trees. The dark path was lit with low wattage lamps casting long shadows along the way. Johnny had put Roy in front purposely so he could set the pace but it really wasn't much of an issue as the security guard was not a sprinter. With long legs Johnny could have covered the distance in half the time but this is one time he didn't complain.

By the time they reached their destination Roy reached for the fencing around the pen and bent over putting his hands on his knees. Johnny immediately moved to his side, "Roy, can you do this?"

Roy stood back up straight after catching his breath, "Yea, I'm ok, let's go."

Johnny felt a cold chill move down his back as they both knew the clock was ticking.

Chet watched them and came right over to Roy's side with an uneasiness growing in his gut, "What's going on? Are you ok?"

Seeing the discomfort in Roy's eyes Chet suddenly felt afraid for his life with an image flashing before him that he remembered from a dream, "Roy, you can't do this!" Chet turned to find Cap but Johnny grabbed his arm.

"Chet, we have to make sure the kid is ok first so let's get it done." Johnny could see that Chet was geuinely concerned about Roy but he knew they had a rescue first even if it tore him up inside himself.

Chet stood and just shook his head not understanding how Johnny could know Roy was hurt and not do anything about it. "Johnny, I don't know man, I just have this really bad feeling."

Johnny looked at Chet with curiosity wondering what was up with him but instead shook his head. "Chet, we have to get the kid, and then Roy's going to the ER with me as his personal escort."

Obviously the two paramedics knew more than he did about what was going on so Chet decided to lay low for now but the back of his mind was haunted with an image he couldn't shake.

Johnny looked at the security guard, "Where's the kid?" _._

The security guard took his flashlight and pointed it into the large open habitat behind them. Hank and the others came up to find Roy, Johnny and Chet looking at where the flashlight was pointing.

Roy stood there dumb founded, he couldn't believe it. It was just too ironic. Without looking at anyone in particular, "Elephants. Why did it have to be elephants?" Johnny looked at Roy. Under any other circumstances he would have laughed and given him a hard time.

There, in the middle of the grassy area, stood an elephant. If the elephant wasn't enough to rattle Roy's cage it would be the young boy laying down directly underneath, in between its large legs.


	7. Chapter 7

It's Not My Job

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I am done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home_

"_Three things cannot be hidden, the sun, the moon and the truth." Confucius._

* * *

Johnny pointed, shaking his finger. "Exactly how are we supposed to move that thing?"

"I've called the curator of the exhibit but he didn't answer the phone." The security officer offered, also wondering what in the world they were gonna do for that danged fooled kid.

The child looked to be about 13 years old. He was lying on his side facing away from them without any signs of movement seen. Johnny decided to try and find out if he was just trapped or hurt and trapped. "Hey, if you can hear me I don't want you to move around but move your hand for me." There was no response from the still body.

"She won't hurt her." The voice behind them startled all of them. They turned around to find a police officer holding onto a scrawny looking boy who looked to be about 15.

Roy for a moment ignored the boys statement, "Who's down there?"

"Don't know," he answered smugly.

"Look your already in deep on this so just answer his question." The officer said pulling the back of his shirt a little tighter.

Johnny pointed at the other kid, "Did you say she? Well she's hurt bad enough that she's unconscious. You need to tell us what's going on so we can try to save her life." Johnny had no patience for this boy.

That seemed enough to rattle the kid, "It was all Billy's fault. That's her brother he dared her to go in. Her name is Sam, uh Samantha."

"Did you see her fall?" Roy asked.

He shook his head, "She tried to climb down but fell. I got scared when the elephant grabbed her and dragged her over there. There was a lot of blood."

Johnny and Roy both cringed at the description of blood, it never meant anything good.

"So you just decided to leave her there?" The officer scolded him.

"Billy said he was going for help." The boy started to cry. He was scared now, the big man attitude was gone facing the fact that the youngest of the midnight raiding party might be hurt badly.

Hank stepped up now, "Ok let's just figure out how to get her out of there. " Looking at the guard, "Anyway we can get to her from the building?"

"I don't' have access to that building, besides all the other elephants are in there too."

When Johnny heard the word 'blood' he had already started strapping on his harness. "Cap, we don't know where she's bleeding from. We need to get to her fast." Hank had thought about cutting into the building doors but knew that would take time. He would trust John's judgment call on this one.

The boy spoke up again, "Margo, her name is Margo. She's Sam's favorite animal at the zoo. We came here this summer for camp and Sam got to help take care of her."

Johnny made sure he had the backpack kit and the HT as he turned to Hank. "Cap, I can't take Roy with me, he had just told me before we left that he's hurting from the warehouse this morning. I'll take him to Rampart as soon as I get the girl out." Before waiting for Hank to reply he turned to Roy, "Stay here, set up the biophone and I will radio her vitals and condition to you. Chet come with me." Johnny was making it clear for Roy to not move.

"Be careful Junior," he replied. Then added with a smirk on his face, "Don't let Margo sit on you."

He shot him a crooked smile. "No problem partner. I'll be back in a minute for my second patient."

The other men watched the exchange then looked at each other. Only Chet knew a little more about how bad Roy was hurting. Everyone else had an uneasy feeling in the pit of their stomachs but couldn't figure out what it was about. He moved to get hooked up onto the safety line preparing to follow Johnny down into the pit.

The young boy knew he was in trouble and since he really didn't want anything to happen to Sam decided to try and help as much as possible. "The zoo keeper always said to approach her slowly. You have to wait for her to give her permission to get near Sam."

Roy set up the biophone on the bench next to the fence and sat down. The rush of adrenaline gave him energy but he knew it wouldn't last. But for the first time he wasn't worried. He knew that Johnny would take care of him in just a few minutes.

"Rampart this is Squad 51, do you read?" Roy called in.

"10-4 51, go ahead." Roy recognized Dixie's voice.

"Rampart, we have a female victim of a fall, 13 years old. She is currently trapped and we do not have access to her. This call is for notification only. We will send vitals as soon as we can reach her."

"10-4 51. Standing by."

Mike and Marco took the other ends of the ropes and held fast as Johnny and Chet moved down to the first ledge. They looked at the barrier that separated them from Margo and Sam. It was an easy 15 foot drop to reach the main ground level of the enclosure. Johnny moved first to repeal down the wall, doing so effortlessly. Chet followed right behind them. Marco then secured the stokes to the rope and lowered it down to them. Johnny tried to keep his eye on the Sam and Margo the whole time.

The lighting was basically by moonlight alone inside the elephant den but Chet could see the smeared dark blood that seems to go from the wall to the elephant. "Johnny." When he turned Chet pointed down.

"Great," was all Johnny said but it was enough for Chet to know that there was too much blood on the ground.

Slowly they approached Margo but Johnny paused when the large animal started shifting her weight back and forth. "Easy does it there Margo." He took a few more steps closer, "we just want to help her."

Everyone watched Johnny approaching then Hank almost jumped when he watched Margo raise her front leg up. Fearing the worst everyone held their breath.

Johnny saw the leg rise and stopped moving. With amazement he saw Margo lower her head as she moved one foot at a time until she had moved away from the little girl. Chet and Johnny moved forward quicker as Margo wandered off, no longer interested in what was happening.

Everyone else took a deep breath and continued to watch the rescue. The two men approached the little girl on the ground noting she was still unconscious. The first thing Johnny noticed was the misshapen right leg with an obvious compound fracture. That was where all the blood was coming from. He moved beside her quickly, took off his backpack and reached for a pulse. Chet took the blood pressure cuff out of the kit and started taking a BP. Taking an assessment of the young patient he called it in to Roy.

"Roy, she's unconscious and unresponsive to painful stimuli. Pupils are unequal, uh, there's fluid in both ears. She has a bad laceration to the back of her head that's bleeding heavily. I've got a pressure dressing to it. Pulse is 70, BP 60/40, respirations are 10. Her breathing is shallow. She has a compound fib fracture that's bad; it must have nicked an artery because it's bleeding heavily. There's already significant loss here. "

Roy reconnected with Rampart and relayed all information. He knew the girl was critical, she was bleeding to death.

"51. Use spinal precautions. Start IV of D5LR. Give oxygen 10 liters and watch for further depression in her breathing. Insert esophageal airway if needed. Transport as soon as possible." Roy relayed the care details to Johnny and they watched as the two got busy stabilizing Sam as much as possible. Marco leaned over the fencing working any needed supplies down to Chet.

The others watched and waited. Hank glanced over to Mike and noticed his intent stare at Roy. "Problem Mike?" Hank asked.

Mike didn't take his eyes off of Roy as he shook his head. "Don't know Cap. Does Roy look ok to you?"

Hank looked over to the paramedic. It was dark out but he could see the pale color, the look of exhaustion in his face. Moving over to the bench Roy looked up, "They should be up soon Cap, is the ambulance here?"

Hank looked to the security guard who shook his head no. Roy also saw the response and didn't need his Cap to answer him. He looked back down towards Johnny. They were loading the little girl into the stokes.

Hank looked back at Mike to see the lines of worry on his face. Looking back at Roy he also felt an anxiety he couldn't push aside. "Roy."

Roy looked up to see Mike and Hank looking at him with the same look Johnny had earlier.

"Yea Cap."

Hank thought about the two men in the bathroom before they left then Johnny taking Chet on the rescue leaving Roy behind. "I want to know what's going on."

Roy knew his Cap was worried and he really didn't have the energy to put up any kind of brave front. "Cap I got sick tonight that's why Johnny was up. The pain in my back has gotten really bad." Roy sighed.

Suddenly Hank was feeling grave concern for Roy. Although he said he 'hurt' his back Hank felt like it was something much more serious. He looked down and saw Chet and Johnny approaching the wall with the stokes.

"Marco, Mike get um up here." Hank directed. Then back at Roy, "You, don't move." He picked up the HT.

"LA Engine 51, can you give an estimate on our ambulance? Also I have a Code I at this location."

Mike and Marco both looked up at the radio call.

"51, ambulance ETA is 2 minutes."

"10-4."

Chet pulled up first then assisted with the stokes, followed by Johnny. They parked the stokes right next to Roy.

"How's she doing Johnny?"

"Not good. Her pressure has stabilized some with fluids but she'd already lost so much blood." He looked up at Roy. "Another 20mins and she would have been a Code F." Roy shook his head.

Johnny stood up and looked at Roy. "Ok partner, no more." He turned to Marco, "Marco I need another stokes right away."

Marco hesitated for just a moment as the implication sunk in then started running.

"Cap, can you give me a hand here." Johnny reached behind Roy to help him up and surprised everyone when he didn't protest his younger partner's bossy attitude. Hank moved forward and reached around Roy's waist to support him also until Roy yelled when Hank's arm touched his back. Momentarily startled Hank stepped back then quickly grabbed his belt buckle to ease him down to the sidewalk.

"Is anyone gonna tell me what's going on here?" Hank barked.

Johnny spoke as the pointed for Chet to get his pressure while he obtained his pulse quickly. "Cap, the fire this morning."

Hank interrupted him, "Yea Roy told me that part. What kind of back injury does he have?"

"I don't know for sure Cap but I think he has internal injuries." Johnny was writing down his vital signs.

He then reached for the biophone. "Rampart this is 51."

"Go ahead 51" Brackett was at the radio now.

"Rampart, the girl's BP is now 90/50, pulse 110. We have her prepared for transport with ambulance pulling up now. I now have a second victim. Fireman injured this morning that now has severe back and abdominal pain with bruising and contusions to his right flank, around to his right side. Pulse is 130. BP is 80/50. He is pale and diaphoretic. He is conscious and oriented."

"10-4 51. On victim 2 start an IV of LR and transport as soon as possible. 51, who is the fireman?"

"Doc, its Roy." Brackett froze. This morning's fire? He quickly ran through his mind Roy's exam. He didn't complain about back pain. What did he miss?

Roy felt an overwhelming wave of nausea and started to roll over but couldn't. Mike was at his side and helped him roll over on his side. The anxiety level increased when they saw him throw up blood.

"Rampart. 51. Victim 2 is now throwing up blood."

"10-4 51."

As Johnny finished the ambulance attendants came up the path with a stretcher. They loaded Sam up first then Mike and Hank picked up Roy and followed the stretcher to the parking lot. Marco and Chet were right behind them with the medic's boxes.

Loading up the two patients Johnny started to climb in but felt Hank's hand on his shoulder, "John, is he going to be ok?"

"I hope so Cap." Was all Johnny could answer but found himself shaking. His dream again came to the surface but at least he could say that Roy was in a lot better condition for this ambulance ride than the one of his dream.

"Marco, take the squad in. We'll meet you there." Hank directed. They all just wanted to get there and make sure Roy was ok. That he was still alive.

Johnny kept checking vital signs on the girl concerned that her breathing was becoming erratic.

"Johnny?" It was Roy, he turned to him.

"Yea Roy?"

"Is she gonna make it?"

"I don't know but she wouldn't have had a chance if we hadn't of come. How did you know?"

Roy closed his eyes. "I didn't, just a gut feeling with kids I guess."

Johnny patted his shoulder, "Hang in there buddy, we're almost there."

Roy gave him a smile then drifted off to sleep not seeing Johnny place an airway and begin breathing for Sam.

* * *

Upon arrival to the ER they were greeted by Dixie and Brackett. Dixie was shaken by seeing Roy in the stokes but the look on Johnny's face was more concerning to her. "Treatment 2 for her, take him to 1." Johnny moved forward with the little girl while the orderlies moved Roy to his room. Johnny's first priority was to the child until he released her to Brackett. Moving into the room he gave a report about what had happened.

"An elephant?" Dixie asked. Why did elephants seem familiar to her?

"Just don't ask Roy about it is all. Hey can I go now doc, I wanna check on him." Brackett knew there was no holding him back so he released him to go to his friend's side.

Joe Early came into the girl's room and got a quick report. Skull fracture, significant blood loss but she was here and she was alive. They prepared her for surgery.

Meanwhile in Roy's room Johnny watched as Brackett came in and examined Roy. His vitals were holding stable but Johnny could see the very displeased look on his face when he palpated his abdomen. "Well I hope the reason for avoiding admission was worth it. How long were you planning on waiting this out? Until you collapsed at the station?"

Johnny cringed at the site from his nightmare. "Doc I just found out about it tonight, found him in the locker room about to fall over."

Knowing they had done a rescue, "And how long ago was that?" He was getting mad now.

"About an hour ago, doc. I was ready to bring him in right there from the locker room but we got the call for the little girl."

Roy was weak but interrupted him, "Doc, yes worth it and it was my fault. I knew the nearest next squad was 20 minutes away and was afraid a child wouldn't have that much time."

Brackett shook his head. "Well this time you were right. She would have never made it that long. She's very critical now, on her way to surgery."

The x-ray tech entered with the films and Johnny and Brackett walked over to the view box to look at them. "Lungs look ok, there are 2 cracked ribs down here." He walked back over to Roy's side. "We're going to have to operate Roy. You're bleeding some internally and I'm afraid you're only going to deteriorate if we don't do it now."

Johnny was rattled, "Surgery?" He didn't know if he could take another surgery.

"It's better to do it now Johnny while his vitals are stable and the blood loss doesn't seem to be severe yet."

Roy closed his eyes. "Do what you have to doc." Then looking at him, "I just want to be around to see my kids again."

"You'll be ok Roy." Johnny stood beside him looking at Brackett for reassurance.

Bracket t nodded, "He's gonna be ok. Despite all his protesting you got him here in time. Now go update everyone and I will let you know as soon as he's out of surgery."

Johnny moved into the hallway to find the A-shift family waiting on news. Hank stepped forward first, "How is he?"

"Some cracked ribs, internal bleeding. They are taking him to surgery now." He looked up at Hank, "Did you call Joanne?"

"Yea, but she's got the kids up at her mom's, can't get back till later today. I also have us 10-8 until we hear about Roy."

Hank turned around to all the guys. "Will we wait, I think we all need to sit and talk about some things."

The men settled into the waiting room for the long wait.

A.N.: Final chapter to follow. Thanks for everyone's reviews they have been immensely helpful and fun through the whole process.


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

It's Not My Job

_These fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and return them safely home._

"_Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together." Eugene Ionesco._

_Again, thanks to everyone for the reviews they helped more than you can imagine, to encourage, to make me laugh along with you and to teach me. Hope to see you again soon with my next story._

* * *

Final Chapter

Five weary firemen sat around the quiet, empty waiting room. They waited to hear about their friend, their brother in arms and an essential member of their family. In command was Hank Stanley. A man who had already come to admire this group of hose jockeys in such a short time. He felt that these 24 hours had been a test for them in many ways and as he looked around at their faces he needed to know, did they all pass tonight? What had transpired this shift went beyond comprehension, beyond family and beyond devotion. These men had an unfaltering dedication to each other that Hank had never experienced before. Knowing what was going through there heads was crucial to him so that he could be the best leader possible for them. Looking over at Johnny he knew that the young man was distressed over the last few hours and Hank felt no need to push him over the edge. He sat back in his chair and cleared his throat.

"I think it's fair to say that something happened to all of us tonight." He looked at each man and saw the uneasiness flash across their faces. They looked tired and beaten down but Hank knew they had to talk about it. "No one has to talk about it if they don't want to but I want to." With him starting first it seemed to put them at ease a little.

"I've worked in fire houses for nearly 15 years now. As you know this is my first command position. I came to station 51 with grand plans to make it better. To, make my mark here. But this shift has taught me something that I didn't prepare for…." He paused.

They looked at him with concern, not knowing what was coming next. But before he could finish Johnny's inner turmoil rushed out of his mouth, "Cap, it's all my fault. I've made your start at 51 terrible. I thought I could do it without your help or your guidance. I was so busy trying to prove something that I almost lost my partner and best friend." He hesitated as he debated about telling them. "But something happened to me tonight too. A dream, well, more like a nightmare where I was the captain and everything was wrong." He was pacing by now trying to sort it all out in his fatigued brain. Johnny looked up to find everyone staring at him with looks of astonishment. "What?" he asked them.

Chet spoke first, "You had a dream where you were Captain?"

"Yea," Johnny shook his head. "It was terrible, everyone was doing the wrong thing, we made a terrible team, no one was really happy. No matter what I did we didn't mesh."

Marco whispered, looking at Johnny, "I dreamt I was a paramedic." Then he looked at Mike.

Mike looked like he was afraid to move. If it was ever possible for Mike to be speechless then it was now. All he could do was shake his head yes to Marco. Hank sat back in his chair and watched the discussion before him in astonishment.

"Wait, wait." Johnny said, waving his arms around. "In _my_ dream Mike and Marco were the paramedics and Chet was engineer." He was sure they were getting their dreams mixed up with his because they were all so tired.

Chet wavered in his seat, turning pale, "How is that possible? How can we have all had the same dream?"

Johnny sat down again, "Mine was more than a dream." He couldn't look at his friends, "It was a nightmare."

It was silent and looking up he could see fear in his friend's eyes. Was it possible that they had the same experience he did? He looked at Mike. Mike sat up straight and spoke softly, "Roy died."

No one knew what to say. It was true. They had shared the same nightmare, the same death. It was obvious that each one had suffered the loss.

Hank was right. Something had happened to all of them tonight. He leaned forward again. "Johnny you said that in the dream nothing was right and everyone was unhappy. Were you were unhappy with your position as Captain?"

He shook his head, "Yea Cap. Mike and Marco were the paramedic's and I wanted to be one too but it didn't seem right. Now I realize it was because I wouldn't have had the right partner."

Hank turned to Mike and Marco, "Were you two happy?"

They shook their heads. "I felt lost not being engineer," Mike said.

Marco agreed, "Being a paramedic wasn't natural for me, like it is for Johnny and Roy."

"Chet?" Hank asked but Chet remained quiet.

Johnny looked concerned, "You ok Chet?"

Chet blinked and looked around at his family, "I finally had the job I always wanted but I remember how it felt when I realized that I wasn't ready for it. Don't you get it guys? Something happened to us last night. People just don't all have the same dream."

Hank held his hand up. "I think we are all missing something even bigger here fellows. In our dreams we were disjointed and out of place. I was a fireman again which wasn't a bad thing." He looked at Johnny, "But I didn't know anyone especially Roy. So none of us worked as a team, a family and because of that we lost someone close to us." He could see that they all had the same Roy experience. "But what happened when you woke up Johnny? I found you in the locker room talking to Roy when the tones went off."

Johnny looked up with realization, "My dream told me he died but as soon as I woke up something told me he wasn't really gone. But when I found him I knew something was wrong. Something he'd been hiding from me all day. I knew in my gut."

Hank shook his head, "And that gut knowledge is what got him to this hospital alive this time." It was obvious that the nightmare had shaken all the men in many ways. "And what I was trying to say before was that working with you today has taught me that I would be a fool to try and change anything here. I've never seen a tighter crew than this one and I feel honored to be a part of it."

Johnny smiled, "Cap, I can never tell you how glad I am that you have the job and not me. I'm not ready to take the lead in all matters. I think you've already proven to us that you belong at 51." He reached out to shake the Captain's hand. One by one the men stood up and shook Hank's hand, welcoming him to the family of station 51 A-shift.

Mike and Marco came over to Johnny, "We just wanted to tell you that we're grateful that you're the paramedic because we seem to have trouble with band aides." The three men laughed. Marco added, "And never let Mike drive with squad please." Mike eagerly confirmed that with a nod.

Chet came into the little group, "Uh, Johnny. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure Chet, what's up?" Johnny was a tad nervous but willing to listen.

"I just wanted to apologize for saying you'd never make captain. Cause I do believe that when you are ready you will make a great Captain." Chet looked at his shifting feet.

Johnny knew it took a lot from Chet to say that and he wasn't gonna give him a hard time over it. "Thanks Chet and the same goes with you. When you're ready, you will make a great engineer."

Chet looked up and smiled.

"But Chet?"

"Yea John?"

"One request for you"

Chet looked suspicious, "Okay."

"No matter what, please don't make Mike stop polishing the engine, ok?" Johnny shot him a crooked smile and a wink.

"I heard that!" Mike balked from across the room.

Everyone relaxed and pulled their chairs closer and talked and talked. Again Hank watched the little band of brothers and knew that he was in the right place, with the right men.

* * *

Even though Johnny was deep in a discussion with Chet over why pranks didn't work on Hank he heard the elevator ding. Turning while still talking he looked over to see Kelly and Joe coming off the elevator. They were pulling off their surgical hats, the masks lying on their chest still tied around their necks. Johnny's vision became tunnel; it seemed they were walking into his dream. The doctors were talking and didn't realize that five sets of eyes were following every step that they took.

Johnny stood up and walked towards them but found he couldn't talk. The memory of the 'last time' in the waiting room weighed heavy on each mans heart but no more than it did on Johnny's. Hank could see the young paramedic faltering and spoke up himself, "Doc?"

Kelly looked up showing the exhaustion in his face. "It was rough on him, and he lost a lot of blood before we could get him closed up. He bruised and lacerated his liver, has 2 broken ribs and he was pretty beaten up over it all. But he's going to be ok."

The wave of elation that swept through the waiting room was almost overwhelming. Those two doctors had no idea what the men had gone through. Johnny felt like he was going to pass out but felt Hank move up beside him and take his arm for support.

Hank asked, "When can we see him?"

Joe Early rubbed his eyes, "They'll move him to the ICU in the next hour and then you can see him for a few minutes. He won't be awake and he's still on the ventilator. Keep it just a few minutes then you can come back later today when he's awake. He was at the point of exhaustion and needs to rest."

"Sure doc, no problem. We just need to know he's ok." Hank said.

Chet realized that Johnny was still quiet. Placing his hand on the paramedic's shoulder, "He's gonna be ok Johnny. You can relax now."

Johnny just shook his head and Chet saw the tears well up in his eyes.

* * *

Hank pushed open the door to the ICU room where Roy was sleeping. He was still on the ventilator and heavily sedated, surrounded by monitors and machines.

"Roy, we're all here for ya pally, ok? We waited while you were having surgery and Joanne is on the way too. One of us will stay here in case you need anything at all." Hank sniffed back a tear, "We're glad you decided to stay with us this time buddy."

He turned and moved out of the way so that each one could say goodnight to him.

Marco took his hand and whispered a prayer for him then squeezed his hand gently, "We'll be back to see ya Roy. Get better soon."

Mike leaned on the bed some and whispered in his ear so that no one could hear him, "Hurry back Roy, I hate driving the Squad."

Chet was next and was more self-conscious about everyone looking at him, "Hurry back Roy, poking the pigeon without out you around just isn't as much fun."

Last was Johnny, "Cap, I want first watch with him."

For some reason Hank wasn't at all surprised. "Sure John. Let us know if he needs anything. We will be back later today to check on him ok?"

"Ok, Cap and ….thanks." He spoke words that were heartfelt and full of gratitude.

Johnny pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed. He took Roy's hand, "The last time I did this it was to say goodbye to ya. I don't know if I will ever be able to tell you about what really happened tonight to me. But just know I don't want to ever have to do it again. I told cap I learned a lesson tonight but I really learned two Pally. First, I'm not the Captain and I know now I don't want to be. Not yet anyway. But more importantly I learned that I will never intentionally let you down again. I hope that when you are back at work you will be able to tell me whenever you need me so that this won't happen again. Damn it Roy, it's my job to protect you and I failed. Not once, but I somehow managed to do it twice tonight. You said you did this for me and I can never tell you how much that means to me. But honestly don't do it again. I mean I don't want to sound ungrateful but I just don't think I can take it." He patted Roy's arm then laid his head down on the side of the bed where exhaustion took him to the land of dreams again. But this time they were dreams of peace.

Hank had come to tell Johnny one last thing when he overheard the exchange. He might never fully comprehend the depth of their friendship but he knew he would never again doubt it.

* * *

EPILOGUE:

Johnny sat at Roy's bedside laughing at the commercial on TV while Roy ate lunch.

"You gonna eat that?" he asked just after picking up the roll from Roy's tray.

"Guess not," Roy mumbled.

Johnny garbled through a mouthful, "If you want it just say so."

"No, please, help yourself." Roy tried to be annoyed but just couldn't. After a week he finally felt human again and even Johnny's childish behavior didn't perturb him right now.

Hearing a knock at the door, "Come in," Roy called out.

He had a big grin on his face to see Mike, Marco and Hank come in. "Heya there Roy, how ya feeling today?"

"Good, feeling pretty good Cap. Thanks for coming." Roy was glad for the visit but realized that someone was missing. "Where's Chet?"

"Oh, he's coming. So when you getting out of here?" Marco asked.

"Hopefully this week."

They all turned to a rumbling, bumping, and grumbling sound coming from the door. Chet stuck his head in, "Got something for ya Roy."

In comes Chet with his arms around the neck of a stuffed animal that was as big as he was. All Johnny could do was laugh but then quickly looked at Roy afraid he would be mad at him for telling.

Chet sat the giant sized stuffed purple elephant at the end of Roy's bed, "Geeze, don't let this fall on ya, you'll be in the hospital for another 2 weeks."

Roy sat up and turned for a feigned leap at Johnny's throat making him jump up and tumble out of the chair. Tangling his foot in the bed's lowered railing he managed to knock the giant purple elephant down on top of him. Mike had jumped trying to catch him but only managed to about get knocked off his own feet with Marco having to catch him. Sitting on the floor Johnny groaned from his complaining back. Chet started laughing as he watched Johnny get more tangled as he tried to get untangled. His foot was now completely wrapped up in the sheet and he laid back, defeated in the fiasco. Hank furrowed his brow. This was his well oiled team? Then he laughed.

"Hey partner?"

"Yes Johnny?"

"Can you get this elephant off me?"

"Uh, what elephant would that be Junior?"

THE END


End file.
